When I started this blog, I made a vow that I was not going to be one of those people who rants about her love life. And I still do not plan to be that person. However, something happened to me yesterday that was so funny I felt I had to share it.
So there's a guy in my branch who, on top of being tall, dark, and handsome, also has a pretty amazing Southern drawl (he's not from Texas. Not that I haven't met Texans with pronounced accents, but this guy's accent tops them all). He is beloved by both men and women alike. He lives with his brother, who is married and has a family. This becomes important later. He also happens to be on the older end of the branch spectrum (he's about to get booted out, in other words), and he's known to be something of a flirt. So, yesterday, after Sunday School, as I am sitting with Stephanie and Layne, he comes up to tell Layne about a woman he'd like to set Layne up with (a subject for another post). At some point during this conversation, the topic veers, and he and I have the following exchange:
Guy (for the sake of anonymity, this is what we'll call him. The name he goes by isn't much better): Speaking of that, when are we going out?
Me: Well...
Guy: Probably when I call you, huh?
Me: Yeah, that's sort of a rule of mine.
Layne: (aside, grateful to have the focus off him) You don't just go to places and wait for guys to show up?
Me: No.
Guy: 'Cause my brother and them like you.
Me: (confused) And how do your 'brother and them' know me?
Guy: They know the girls I talk about. You know, everybody thinks I'm this big flirt, but I've only got a few girls that I'm really interested in. I've always got to keep that fire stoking. If things don't pan out with the girl I'm talking to who lives in Dallas, I've always got to keep the fire stoking.
And with that, he walked away. So, let's review what we learned from this little exchange, which is as close to word-for-word as I could get it:
- The only men who ever hit on me are either drunk or so cocky that they find it perfectly acceptable to have an exchange like the one noted above in front of people who will inevitably mock and ridicule them, which was exactly what happened when he left.
- He finds me desireable on some level,
BUT
- I am not his first choice.
6 comments:
I'm glad you decided to post this because when you told me about it over the phone and the bosch was going and the small child was being naughty and your gas pump was talking, I totally missed the part about "stoking the fire." That's really funny. It reminds me of the whore song in Les Mis.
I'm really glad that you documented this for posterity. I'm also hoping that it got an entry in your marriage journal. You never know, maybe the Dallas girl will fall through and Guy will start stoking your fire exclusively. Although, I'm a bit nervous as to what that would look like. If he's able to focus that much game on the "reserve" while stoking multiple fires, focusing on just one might be mind blowing for all parties involved.
This is another reason I love the branch. You couldn't make stuff up this good if you tried!!!
Only one more week until you come and I get to hear all about every awkward conversation you have with idiot guys!!! yeah!!!
Wow. I'm glad I checked this...
I didn't realize you ever did. I'm going to have to be more careful.
Megan, I love your story! I love when guys use lines like "stoke the fire" or the favorite one I got "No Harm No Foul" after he dumped me after one date...that I didn't even want to go on! Or my roommate who was told "this has run it's course". Where do guys get this stuff?
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