The real girl

WARNING: THE SUBJECT OF THIS POST IS WEIRD.

The night I got back from Las Vegas, as I was watching the Utes beat Alabama, and temporarily wishing I were a Utah fan, Layne called. Not wanting to rest on our laurels after shooting four skits for the movie, he was planning on shooting another one the next day. Here's where it gets weird (in case you already think moviemaking is weird):

This particular skit is about guys trying to figure out girls. When Layne wrote it, he envisioned the boys sitting in a laboratory where they examined a blow-up doll in order to gain insight about women. I pointed out that, in order to shoot that scene, we would need a blow-up doll, something typically only sold in adult bookstores and on unsavory websites. It didn't make things better when Layne explained that he already had a blow-up doll, which his male colleagues gave him as a joke. After several arguments and consultation with others

 on the subject, he agreed we wouldn't use the doll if I could find a suitable replacement. I was supposed to get a Raggedy Ann doll from my parents' house. I forgot.

But, bent on not using the inflatable woman, I went to some trouble to make a fake woman myself. This is the weird part. I used my own clothes and created some structure with arms and legs made of my old pantyhose. I used one of those creepy plastic masks that are clear but make the wearer look like he/she is wearing makeup (which begs the question, why wouldn't you just put makeup on your own face?) to create a face, and a wig for hair.  Layne came by while I was putting on the finishing touches and, through bursts of laughter, said, "You didn't have to make it so elaborate." So, here she is:

We call this look Disco Doll, as it is a wig that Stephanie wore to a disco-skating event. After this photo was taken, we determined that she had no neck, so we added a giant dowel to her pantyhose frame.

This wig is called Astrid, and was part of Stephanie's Halloween costume when she was a viking.

This last wig, the wig we ultimately chose to film her in, belongs to Layne, and was used when he played a hippie father in a murder mystery the branch did last year.

I feel like part of her charm lies in the fact that she looks nothing at all like a real woman. Also, I am a big fan of her giant sunglasses, which I bought for three dollars on the way to Vancouver. They make me look like Elton John, but they look good on her and they hide the fact that she has no eyes. She's kind of like Bunsen Honeydew or Marcie from Peanuts.

Allison graciously allowed us to use the laboratory where she works breeding flies. I'm sure the other people who were there that day thought we were insane. Here she is standing next to Hurmon, one of our researchers, and my home teacher.

Here is a shot of Layne giving direction to J.C. and Logan, two more of our "researchers."

I am now sitting here with the partially deconstructed fake woman wearing my clothing and shoes, wondering if this is less creepy than the blow-up doll would have been. On one hand, she did not come from an x-rated book store. On the other hand, the fact that I am referring to this thing as if it has a gender is not good. Plus, I now own a creepy mask that brought back my childhood fear of masks. I am putting a voting option on this page, and allowing the six readers of this blog to decide.