A Missionary Package

I have emerged from several weeks of blogging inactivity to write, not about my job search or my dissertation, which I finally proposed yesterday, or my lack of a love life, but about a package I plan to send to my brother, Danny, in Alaska on Monday. Danny has been on his mission now for a little over a year, and he requested a package from all of his family members to celebrate. I thought back to the number of packages he sent me when I was on my mission (zero), and then remembered that a) he was 13 at the time, and b) he's a boy, and I tried to cut him some slack. He requested that no one send him any treats/candy, as he has already gained all the weight a stateside missionary ever needs to gain, and does not need to buy himself any more larger pants. So, after some consideration and a quick trip to the dollar store, this is what is going in the box:

• a Texas Tech ski cap. I hope it fits. He has a big head.
• a yo-yo (he used to be really good with a yo-yo)
• a Goliath (from the Old Testament) figurine. I couldn't find David, sadly.
• a lint brush (I would have loved something like that on my mission in New York. Everyone had a cat or a dog, and they were never outside animals).
• Black dress socks with a subtle pattern. Nothing too crazy, just a little something for variety.
• hand sanitizer spray in a container that looks like a pen. I figure he can even keep it in his shirt pocket if he wants.
• Blistex, because you can never have too many tubes of lip balm that you can't keep track of. Plus, Danny always has notoriously chapped lips. I doubt the winters in Alaska have changed that fact.
• One of those eggs that, when you submerge it, becomes a washcloth. For fun.
• Mylanta for gas relief. It sounds like a gag gift, but it's not. I should throw in some breath mints, also. Wait, it looks like the Mylanta is mint-flavored, so it's like killing two birds with one stone, so to speak.
• a magnet shaped like a TV with my picture in it. I don't know why I got such a kick out of this item. I can't think of any person I know who would be less excited by a framed picture of me.

As a missionary, I remember occasionally getting weird letters or cards from friends or family members and wondering if they had lost it while I was away. I think this may have that effect on my brother.