Broadway Rant: Rent

I just watched Rent (the movie) for the first time. I have never been a huge fan of the story itself, but the musical itself is intriguing, as it featured breakout performances by some of Broadway's biggest stars of today, and, I presume, it is where Taye Diggs and Idina Menzel met and fell in love. I admire the way they managed to retain so much of the original Broadway cast for the movie--something that is rarely even attempted. Also, I dare you to listen to "Seasons of Love" and not get the "Five hundred twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes," refrain stuck in your head.

It's the story of a group of bohemians living in New York, many of whom are HIV positive. Their worries mostly revolve around money (because none of them have it), their relationships (because they are not capable of having decent ones), and dying (because of the HIV). It is loosely based on the opera La Boheme, replacing tuberculosis with AIDS.

Many traditional theatergoers were not big fans of Rent, probably for the sexuality, the drug use, and the way everyone has AIDS. The thing I found most troubling (other than Adam Pascal's hair) was the fact that no one seemed to have a job. Granted, they were bohemian artists, and that seemed to be kind of the point, but it seems like kind of a no-brainer that if you don't have steady work, your chances of continuing to live in your apartment are pretty slim, regardless of whether or not Taye Diggs is your slumlord. I mean, don't most artists, musicians, and actors end up taking jobs as waitresses and couriers take jobs to make ends meet? Speaking of the apartment, I have to say that, at least in the movie, the apartment was HUGE. Did it not occur to the bohemians that they could probably get a smaller place and pay less rent?

Another thing that turned off traditional Broadway fans to Rent was the rock-opera feel of the score. Honestly, as long as someone is bursting into song at some point, I'm generally okay with whatever the style of music is. I kind of like the rock-and-roll-ness of Rent, which this cast pulls off beautifully. Even Taye Diggs has some pretty good singing chops. Of course, you have to bear in mind that this was not a stage show, but rather, a movie, and, typically, today, singing in TV and movies is "embellished." However, if you are really curious, it's basically the same cast as the OBC, so you can judge for yourself.

Or, if you want to approximate the stage show, there is a stage recording from the last Broadway performance in 2008. However, it contains none of the OBC, and instead, features, as Roger, a man one critic has referred to as "Not Adam Pascal" for his tendency to be the second actor in a role originated by Adam Pascal. However, he could also be called "Not Patrick Wilson," as he has also been the second guy in roles originated by Patrick Wilson. For those of you who are curious, this actor's name is Will Chase, and he can be seen in the first season of Smash.

Rent has not found its way onto my list of favorite musicals. However, the "live like you're dying" mentality of Rent is something I can get behind. While I have no plans to quit my job so that I can spend a year in my apartment trying to write ONE song, I can appreciate how much of my life slips away from me because I am doing things I have to do, or just doing things that don't have any meaning.

And, yes, I did download "Seasons of Love." Sue me.

Broadway Rant: Company

I someday have planned a post on the music of Stephen Sondheim in general, but I decided to talk about Company first for two reasons:

1) It's on Netflix instant stream currently, which means, if the review piques your interest, you can watch it with little difficulty.

2) It's about a single man in his 30's whose friends are all married. For some reason, it strikes a chord in me.

Company is an older musical (1970's), but not one I grew up knowing. It's not really what I would call family-friendly; although, by today's standards, it is pretty tame. It's really more of a series of vignettes than it is an overarching narrative. The lead, Bobby, is a single man approaching his birthday, and he gets these glimpses into the lives of his married friends, which cause him to reflect on his own relationships.

In many ways, this is the anti-Rent. All of these people are well-to-do, not overburdened with worries about having a place to live or dying of a fatal disease. Their problems are along the lines of relationship satisfaction, and whether it's better to be married or single. In other words, the same things people who go to the theater worry about, and the same things many of my clients bring up in therapy.

The songs themselves are thought-provoking in the way that Sondheim's stuff usually is. Bobby is a familiar archetype-he says he wants to be in a committed relationship, but he's afraid of commitment at the same time. I don't know any people like that. I'm certainly not one of those people. The songs perfectly describe the weirdness of being single with lines like, "Marry me a little, love me just enough."

The video available on Netflix features the 2006 production, which is really unique because all of the principle cast plays instruments. Think about that for a second. I am not talking about people playing the tambourine (though there is one cast member who plays the triangle); I'm talking about a French horn, the oboe, violins, a cello, everything. The cast is actually singing while they play (okay, not the woodwinds or the brass, but the strings and Triangle Lady). And, if I'm not mistaken, some of them are actually playing several different instruments, like the cast is a bunch of junior high band teachers.

Apparently, the director, John Doyle, of the production is a big fan of actors playing the instruments. I think it really works for Company, but he also directed Sweeney Todd that way, and I have trouble seeing Patti Lupone playing the tuba as Mrs. Lovett. And while a lot of people think it loses something with the minimalist orchestration, I kind of like the way the instruments become part of the cast. For example, the instruments really pay off during one song that features a call-and-answer of the husbands and their wives, while Bobby plays a sad, pathetic kazoo, and no one answers back, reminding him, yet again, what he doesn't have because he's single.

Ouch, Company. Ouch.

Broadway Rant: What the...?

I turned on the TV this evening, and, to my surprise, there was another musical on PBS that I had never seen before. It was called Love Never Dies, a sequel to Andrew Lloyd Webber's wildly successful The Phantom of the Opera. I feel like I have to share the weirdness I experienced with the world. This blog post contains spoilers, so if you do not want to have the suspense ruined for you, skip this post. Or just don't ever see this show.

I don't know how many musicals have spun off sequels, but I'm willing to bet not many. Particularly, if the original musical was based on a book by an author who has been dead since 1927. I have to pause to point out that I am a huge fan of The Phantom of the Opera. It ranks right up there with Newsies on the list of the most important musicals of my childhood. However, even as a child, I'm pretty sure I never thought, man, they need to write some more stories about the Phantom. And yet, Andrew Lloyd Webber did. 

The musical has, as yet, not made it to Broadway. It premiered in London in 2010, and ran for less than two years. Critics and audiences alike had very mixed feelings about it (some Phantom fans have a protest website called Love Should Die). Apparently, the show is very popular in Australia, which is where this show was filmed.

The story itself is set 10 years after the events of the original story. The original story took place in Paris, where the Phantom terrorized the Paris Opera House until he was stalked by an angry mob. His true love, Christine, whom he stalked, obsessed over, and built several creepy doll replicas of, married another man, and ran away. Ten years later, Christine and her husband, Raoul, have a child (who is really the Phantom's child because, sure), and the Phantom has emigrated to New York, where he runs a freak show on Coney Island. At the end of the show, Christine dies, and her son runs away with the Phantom.

So, here, in bullet point form, are the problems I had with the story, once I had accepted its existence:

• A megalomaniac like the Phantom is forced out of the Paris Opera House and is going to be content with an act on Coney Island? Okay, show.

• Meg Giry, in this show, is written to make the Phantom appear like a sane person. And there is not one but two women in love with the Phantom? What?

• Did anyone who saw the original musical conveniently forget that the Phantom murdered a bunch of people, or did everyone just think, sure, that guy should raise a child? They both like music, right?

• A few months ago, when I was prepping for my Family Violence class, I stumbled on a website that painstakingly dissected Bella and Edward's relationship in the Twilight books and pointed out all of the similarities between that relationship and a violent relationship. Even though I thought it was stupid, the author raised some good points (secrecy, stalking, isolation, etc.). That said, how are people not up in arms about the relationship between Christine and the Phantom? There was kidnapping, stalking, verbal abuse, murdering people, obsession, isolation...

• The show is trying to convince us that a relationship between Christine and the Phantom could work. But project into the future; if this were a real life relationship, it would probably end in murder-suicide. Just saying. Is this something we as theater-going public want to fantasize about?

• I have heard people compare Phantom to Andrew Lloyd Webber's relationship to ex-wife Sarah Brightman, who played Christine in the original London and Broadway productions. Lloyd Webber was a composer, Brightman was a singer. The true intent of this second musical seems to be to convince those of us who were happy that Christine married Raoul at the end of the first musical that, despite the fact that the Phantom was a horrible person, and Raoul was dashing, handsome, and rich, her heart was always with the Phantom. 

• And, some other stuff we didn't know: Raoul is an alcoholic and a gambler, which is the same as being a madman. So there. He deserves to play second fiddle.

• I'm slightly irritated by the two women from the local PBS station trying to convince me that this is good, and that I want to call my friends and tell them to turn on their TVs. I did text Lisa to tell her I was watching this, but I'm pretty sure what my text said was not what PBS had in mind.

The music itself was...okay. It reminds me of Dave Barry's critique of Paul McCartney's post-Beatle songs, pointing out the sharp dropoff in quality, which was more pronounced because of everything awesome that came before it. The music wasn't bad, but it wasn't moving in any way. It was particularly jarring because there were several callbacks to songs from the original.

As for the sets and costumes, they were incredible, possibly even better than the original. So that was something I liked. Of course, everything was vaguely creepy like I imagine sideshows always are, so the costumes and sets kind of enhanced that.

Needless to say, (but I'm going to say it anyway) I will not be knocking myself out to see this one if it ever makes it to Broadway (don't do it, Andrew). Even if it has Audra McDonald as Christine, Kristin Chenoweth as Meg, Adam Pascal as the Phantom, and Patrick Wilson reprising his role as Raoul.

Who am I kidding? Of course, I would go see that. I'm not made of stone.

Broadway Rant: Chess

Remember when they made a movie about the game Battleship, but it turned out it was really about aliens? That was weird, right?

So you'd think that a musical about chess would be equally weird. But there were no aliens. Only communists.

Chess is another one of those shows that I know about because a taping of it aired on PBS, much like Les Miz, Love Never Dies (stay tuned for a rant on that one), Sunday in the Park with George, and Company (a subject for another post). It was actually done more like a concert, so the staging was mostly done with a projector.

The lyrics written by Tim Rice, who was the lyricist for composers like Alan Menken (Aladdin), Elton John (Aida, Lion King), and Andrew Lloyd Webber (Evita). The score was written by Benny Andersson and Björn Ulvaeus, of ABBA. Doesn't that sound like the beginning of a fabulous musical?

Chess is set during the Cold War, so it features your basic American vs. Russian plot that was such a big thing in that era. The American, played by Adam Pascal, is the cocky and imbalanced reigning world champion of chess (based loosely on Bobby Fischer). The Russian, played by Josh Groban (yes, that Josh Groban) is the humble challenger. It was billed as a love triangle, as the American's girlfriend, played by Idina Menzel (Elphaba! Rachel's mom on Glee!) ends up with the Russian before the end of the first act. It could also be considered a love trapezoid, as the Soviet is actually married to another woman.

But, at its heart, it is about the Cold War. I think. The truth is, the plot is a little convoluted, and I had to keep referring to the show's Wikipedia page to understand what was going on. Apparently, that is one of the reasons Chess was never more popular. The nice thing about this concert was that there was a giant screen behind the stage, and when there was a change of time or place, it showed up on that screen. Even at that, it was a little hard to follow.

But, let's be honest, it was really about hearing Idina, Adam, and Josh. Menzel and Pascal both have sort of rock-and-roll kinds of voices. You wouldn't think those would go well with the almost operatic, certainly easy-listening stylings of Josh Groban, but they were fun to hear. The different voices fit the music very well. There were times when it felt like a Gilbert and Sullivan operetta, and other times where it felt like Mamma Mia. The songs Josh Groban sings tend to have heavy Eastern European influences, while Adam Pascal's songs were mostly introduced with an electric guitar. I am a huge fan of Showtune Saturday Nights, a program on a local station where they play Broadway songs for five hours. I have often heard Josh Groban's voice singing what sounded like another country's national anthem, and never knew what it was from. Turns out it was a song called "Anthem" from this recording of Chess.

Also from Chess is the song, "One Night in Bangkok," which I always thought was a weird song. It really has nothing to do with the plot, but it was a pretty awesome number, with Thai dancers and Adam Pascal in a white suit. However, the showstoppers are songs like Groban's "Anthem," Menzel's "Nobody's Side," and "Heaven Help My Heart," and "Someone Else's Story," by Kerry Ellis, who I had never heard of before, but who also played Elphaba in Wicked.

One of the interesting things about the book is that it emphasizes how life, despite human emotion and complications, is really more like chess, that people make moves, and other people respond, and in the end, you try to act like it was all intentional. As the play goes along, it becomes clearer that the players are also pawns. I found it incredibly interesting how they portrayed good and evil. The American is unlikeable until he starts to talk about his childhood. The Russian is a "nice guy" until you realize he's been cheating on his wife for years. I don't know that I would push people over to see a production of Chess, but I am a huge fan of this concert version, and I've been listening to the songs in my car for weeks.

If you happen to see it on TV, don't skip over it.

Broadway Rant: When Broadway does TV and movies.

I love Broadway so much. So much. And because I love it so much, I am willing to go to a lot of mediocre regional theater in order to see plays I have never seen before, like Aida, The Secret Garden, and The Drowsy Chaperone, to name a few. I have accepted the fact that I do not live in a city with culture, and I make the best of it. You'd think I'd be thrilled about a TV show about a Broadway show with actual Broadway stars in it. I am not.

The show is called Smash, and I watched the pilot with great expectations. It is the story of a group of people developing a musical, from the first idea ("Let's make a musical about Marilyn Monroe!") to the production. I thoroughly enjoyed the pilot. That enjoyment pretty much stopped after about the second or third episode, not because the plotting got ridiculous, or the characters were written as idiots. No, here's why I gave up on Smash:

Hollywood and Broadway are weird together. Weird things happen when musicals are made into movies. Namely, they often cast Hollywood actors to play roles that originated on Broadway, and, often, those Hollywood people can't sing. Okay, let me rephrase that: those Hollywood people can't sing like Broadway people. For the most part, they do fine. I liked Meryl Streep in Mamma Mia (I liked Pierce Brosnan a lot less, though). And there are people who argue persuasively that, when you are singing in a movie, you want to be more subtle, so you don't go for the big Broadway belt. Fine. I can accept that for, say, Anne Hathaway as Fantine in the upcoming Les Miz movie. I will accept that it is technically correct for a dying Fantine to have a weak voice at that moment. I don't expect Patti LuPone (okay, I do, but I get that moviegoers do not).

In the 50's and 60's, they bypassed what we will call the Pierce Brosnan Problem by hiring actors who couldn't sing and dubbing other people's voices for the musical numbers. Marni Nixon, for example, was the uncredited singing voice for Natalie Wood in West Side Story, Deborah Kerr in King and I, and Audrey Hepburn in My Fair Lady (in a role that Julie Andrews originated-tell me she's not screen friendly). I don't know if people back then were easily fooled, or just didn't care. These days, though, directors expect actors to sing their own parts, even if someone else would do a better job, which often leads to mediocre singing in movie musicals.

The recent exception to this is Rent, which was made into a movie a few years ago with almost the entire original cast Broadway, including Taye Diggs, who could have easily been mistaken for man-candy stunt casting. In fact, the entire original Broadway cast of Rent was exceptionally good-looking. Typically, though, by the time a musical is made into a movie, the original cast is too old to play the same roles they played years earlier (case in point, Phantom of the Opera, which was made into a movie 18 years after its original debut in London). Or someone in charge of the movie decides it would be better with a more well-known movie entity, like Justin Timberlake or Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Speaking of Phantom, before the long-anticipated movie was made, rumors flew that celebrity casting would take over the production. Names like John Travolta (I know, right?) and Antonio Banderas (gasp!) were thrown around. In the end, the director decided to cast young, relatively unknown actors. While they did well casting Patrick Wilson, an already two-time Tony Award nominee, but relatively unknown in movies at that point, as Raoul, they cast Gerard Butler as the Phantom, which most people thought was bad move, as the Phantom was supposed to be a musical genius, and Butler had something like four singing lessons prior to his audition. I, too, questioned the casting choice at first, but, upon revisiting the movie, I have decided I kind of like the Phantom with a rougher voice, particularly when juxtaposed against a voice like Wilson's, which is an incredible, traditional Broadway lyric tenor.

As a Broadway fan who does not get to see many Broadway plays, I would really appreciate Hollywood's efforts to cast leads who can actually sing, rather than casting people who react to the leads as if they can sing. Get it together, Smash.

Seize the Day, the first Broadway Rant

A few weeks ago, Stephanie suggested we go to New York City for Memorial Day. It took me about three seconds to decide that sounded like a fabulous idea, especially when she mentioned Broadway musicals, shopping, and awesome food.

I mostly want to talk about the shows we saw, so I will just briefly mention that, while we were there, we ate at the Shake Shack, the Cafeteria, a hot dog cart, a deli by our hotel, the place pictured left and right in Little Italy, and we stopped for dessert at Momofuku Milk Bar and Magnolia Bakery. With the exception of Magnolia's red velvet cupcake, everything else was delicious.

We went into Dash, which is a store that exclusively sells Kardashian merchandise. I tried to take a picture, but a security guard stopped me.

Also, I now own a shirt that says "Clear eyes, full hearts can't lose," on the front, and "Dillon Panthers" on the back, from the NBC store. I struggled with whether or not to get one that said "East Dillon Lions," also, and I was a little disappointed that there was no Riggins 33. End of TV geek rant.

Beginning of Broadway Geek Rant: Somehow, we decided that we needed to see a musical every night. We bought tickets in advance for Saturday and Sunday, but took a chance on half priced tickets on Friday as soon as we got to Times Square. The show we ended up picking was Memphis.

At this point in my in rant, I would like to disclose that my style of Broadway musical selection normally goes something like this:

1. Pick a show with a famous Broadway performer headlining who is also originating the production, so I can buy the soundtrack and pretend I'm back at the theater (See this post).

2. Pick a show with the original cast (see above).

3. Pick a show with a famous Broadway performer.

4. Pick a show I think I would like.

5. Pick a show I know I like.

It sounds backward, and slightly pretentious. Also, I am not a fan of jukebox musicals, and I try not to see anything I have seen before, even it wasn't on Broadway, and even if I loved it.

Our criteria for selecting Memphis went like this:

1. Pick three shows that are available (this eliminated The Lion King and that other musical that makes fun of our religion).

2. Narrow it down to 2 we would both be willing to see (that eliminated Anything Goes and Rock of Ages).

3. Pick the one with the cheapest tickets (that eliminated Spider-man).

Memphis fit all criteria on the second list, and criterion 3 on the first list, which I didn't realize until we were standing in line at the theater. It is the story of a mostly fictitious DJ in Memphis during the 1950's who first began playing "black" rock and roll on white radio stations. Adam Pascal (right) played the DJ, Huey Calhoun.

Adam Pascal is best known on Broadway for having played Roger in the original production of Rent (he's also in the movie with some seriously bad hair), as well as the original Radames in Aida. Fun fact: he can also be seen in the movie School of Rock, with Jack Black, as the leader of the band Jack Black's character was kicked out of at the beginning of the movie (bad hair again).

Adam Pascal was not part of the OBC (original Broadway cast), but I have watched a few minutes of the original cast on Netflix, and I have to say, I liked his performance better. Pascal plays the DJ as quirky, while the original actor is more like Forrest Gump. Also, while I have previously professed that Pascal sings like he is constipated, I have since retracted that statement. Because of Memphis, I am officially a fan. I am also now a fan of Montego Glover, who played Huey's love interest, Felicia. She is less well-known, but no less talented.

Memphis, itself, was great. It was fun, the songs were catchy, and the dancing was great. Rest assured, as soon as I have money again, I will be buying this soundtrack.

The second night, we went to see Newsies.

Newsies was the first musical I ever loved. I bought the soundtrack at MediaPlay (remember MediaPlay?) when I was probably about 12 or 13. Newsies was a movie musical made by Disney in 1992, which featured Christian Bale as the head newsboy in the late 1800's, when the newsboys went on strike against the newspaper owners, including Joseph Pulitzer, who was played in the movie by Robert Duvall. It is a vaguely true story. Twenty years later, Christian Bale is better known for being Batman, and the musical is now on Broadway. It met criteria 2 and 5 on my Broadway ranking system, but Stephanie picked it, and I couldn't have been happier.

First of all, I got to sit on an actual chair, which made me tall enough to see everything, which doesn't always happen. We also had awesome seats (we were in the center of the last row in the orchestra section). The musical was modified for Broadway, which could have ruined childhood memories for me, but I was very pleased with all the adaptations to the music and story, to the point that I didn't even miss the original actors. Jeremy Jordan (not the early 90's pop singer) played Jack Kelly, and was not only a great singer and dancer, but also hit the Broadway leading man requirement of having a cleft chin.

The dancing in general was fantastic, incorporating ballet, tap, and gymnastic moves that seemed to defy laws of physics. It sort of put the original choreography in the movie to shame. I would highly recommend it to anyone wanting to take kids to see something on Broadway.

The third show was the one I picked, Porgy and Bess, which, according to the Broadway ranking system, was a 1, as it was the original cast revival and featured Audra McDonald as Bess.

Audra McDonald completes the trifecta (with Kristin Chenoweth, Lea Salonga) of my favorite Broadway actresses, all of whom I have now seen live (Sutton Foster runs a close fourth. I would have pushed to see Anything Goes if she were still in it, instead of starring in a TV show written by Amy Sherman-Palladino, which I will also watch).

Audra McDonald was in the original production of Ragtime, as well as a recent production of 110 in the Shade, among many, many other Broadway productions. She performed with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir a few years ago, but she is probably best known for her role on Private Practice, which, when it originally aired, was on right after Pushing Daisies, which featured Kristin Chenoweth. Also on Private Practice was Taye Diggs, who played her ex-husband, who is also a Broadway performer, in addition to being married to Idina Menzel, who I would also love to see in a Broadway show. Whew.

Audra McDonald was perfect as Bess, which was a different role than anything I had ever seen her in before, but one for which she just won a Tony. Porgy was played by Norm Lewis, who I recognized as Javert in the most recent Les Miserables in Concert special that PBS is airing RIGHT NOW AS I AM TYPING THIS. He has an incredible voice, and his performance as a man with limited use of one of his legs was insane. Also, the supporting cast had these really chilling harmonies that were amazing to listen to.

Porgy and Bess, though, is much more like an opera than anything else we saw. Like I said, the performances were incredible, but the music itself was pretty highbrow, and the story of a poor fishing community was pretty sad. It had the least singable soundtrack. I would recommend it if you want something more artsy, or if you really love Audra McDonald.

It was a great weekend. It has sort of ruined me for my regular life, but isn't that what vacations are for?

Also, after I started writing this, I realized I had a lot more to say about Broadway musicals in general, so consider this the first in a series of posts about musicals. I apologize if that is not your thing.

I just never get tired of DC

I do a fair amount of traveling around the country--mostly for work, but occasionally for pleasure. There are three places that, for no apparent reason, I tend to end up statistically more often than others: Atlanta, Ft. Worth, and Washington, DC.

I love going to Atlanta because it is the only time I get to see Tracy.

Ft. Worth isn't my favorite city in Texas, but it's certainly not a bad place.

But DC. . . Sigh.

I was there less than 48 hours, most of which were spent in a hotel conference room discussing collecting data in our student clinics. (For those of you who may be wondering, I will be working at BYU for another year, and we will see what happens after that).

But I did venture out long enough to have dinner with this man:

I fully intended to get a picture of Ryan with my new camera, but it was raining pretty hard that night, and I didn't want to get it wet. Please enjoy this picture of him with Evonne at a Chief's barn party, circa 2008.

Ryan left Lubbock around the same time that I did, and while I settled into academia in the lovely, urbane city of Pleasant Grove, Utah, Ryan headed out to DC to become a big-time patent attorney. He was kind enough to take time out of his busy life to have dinner with me at this place:

a decision born of hunger, rain, a 90-minute wait, and a bunch of hockey fans desperate for Texas barbecue (I still don't get that one). But the food was great. Not only does Bobby do a great burger, but he also did about the best chocolate shake I have ever had (side note: why don't all shakes come with a really big straw? It's nice to drink a shake without getting a migraine).

Plus, I got to hang out with Ryan, which was awesome. I have known Ryan over 10 years, and he's one of my favorite people to have a stimulating conversation about just about anything from politics to work to hockey. 

On our way back to my hotel, we passed the Washington Monument, and I asked Ryan if he ever stopped being in awe of DC. He said that if that ever happened, he'd have to think seriously about moving.

So I was ecstatic when we finished our second day of meetings early and I had the opportunity to do some sightseeing.

We visited the Air and Space Museum...

...walked through the Supreme Court...

...and stopped to look at the Capitol Building.

Of course, the whole trip finished on sort of a sour note. My flight out of Denver was delayed. Then we got stuck on the runway while a microburst passed by us. When we finally did take off, there was still a fair amount of wind, which rocked us back and forth. It was the first time I have ever used the airsickness bag located in the seat back pocket in front of me. Sadly, it was not the last.

When I got off the plane, the flight attendant chirped cheerily at me, "Have a good evening." I didn't have the energy to tell her that ship had sailed, and she should have said something like, "Better luck next time," instead.

I still love DC.