Not Martha's Cupcakes

I didn't bake anything out of the Martha cupcake cookbook this week.

Today, my qualifying exams were due, which means, with any luck, I will be a Ph.D. candidate soon, and I will be able to propose my dissertation and begin steps toward getting a real job and leaving Lubbock. Consequently, I have spent the past week fairly focused on them.

However, we had a potluck party for all the MFT students on Saturday, and I couldn't very well show up without cupcakes. People are starting to expect them from me.

These are margarita cupcakes, or key lime cupcakes, if you are hesitant to serve something that sounds alcoholic. Here is the link. Enjoy. I piped on the frosting with a 1M star tip, and the tops are garnished with lime slivers. Also, I bought the margarita mix on my way home from the temple, and worried the entire time that I would run into someone from the temple presidency in the grocery store.

S'mores Cupcakes-and a small sidebar about Creme Brulee

Non-cupcake related note: Today, I finished my theory of therapy paper. Tomorrow, I start working on the next paper for my qualifying exams.

This recipe was one of the first that caught my eye: graham flavored cakes with chocolate ganache and marshmallow topping glazed with a kitchen torch. However, the actual making of this recipe occurred in so many stages it's been hard to keep track.

The first problem I encountered with this recipe was graham flour. Trips to two different health food stores and two different grocery stores yielded nothing. I looked up Bob's Red Mill, a company that grinds organic flour from all types of grains, and discovered I could buy graham flour for $2 a bag. However, the cost to ship it to Lubbock was $8. I Googled graham flour and discovered that it was made by grinding various parts of wheat separately, and then combining them. According to Wikipedia, I could make my own graham flour with wheat germ, wheat bran, and white flour. The local grocery store had the first two items in the cereal aisle. I didn't question why that was.

The second problem with this recipe was that it required a blowtorch to add a golden brown sheen to the marshmallow topping, as if it had been roasted over a campfire. The local grocery store had one for $34. The little gourmet kitchen store across the street from my apartment was out. I finally located one inside a creme brulee kit at Bed Bath and Beyond, which cost me $20 and included four ramekins.

After obtaining the blowtorch, I had to get butane to fill it. This proved to be more of a search than I thought. Target didn't have it. Home Depot was out, but the very helpful employees said I could use propane and achieve the same effect. I didn't really believe them. I called my dad, who, as it turned out, owns a similar tiny torch. He expressed doubt that I could use propane and butane interchangeably, and suggested I go to a drugstore to purchase the butane. Two drugstores later, I had a canister in my possession.

I was a little fearful of using the torch, mostly because I get nervous about flammable gas. I decided that, in order to test it out, I needed to make creme brulee.

Creme brulee is, in my opinion, one of the greatest desserts known to man. It is one of those things that I have always wanted to make, but felt too intimidated by. On Friday, I was feeling pretty good about the amount of work I had put into my theory of therapy paper (I have now met the 25 page requirement. I will now spend the next two weeks editing it and making it coherent) and felt it was reason enough to bake again.

So I made creme brulee. Creme brulee is one of those desserts that seems easy, but is actually very hard. I can't really explain it, except to say that I have only had what I considered to be really good creme brulee once in my life. It was from room service in Caesar's Palace. The difference between it and every other creme brulee was, I think, its creaminess. I like creme brulee when it is smooth, almost like pudding. Usually, when I've had it, it has seemed to eggy, like, well, eggs. The stuff I made was no exception. However, it was still pretty tasty, and I caramelized the sugar with my new torch, which, if you are wondering, is what sets creme brulee apart from custard. Creme brulee actually means "burnt cream." PS. If you are inclined to make creme brulee, I have found that most recipes tell you to sprinkle brown sugar on top of it to caramelize, but I found that raw sugar (turbinado) works much better. It doesn't clump, and it tastes wonderful.

As a second sidebar, I took some creme brulee to Stephanie's for dinner that weekend, which opened up a debate about creme brulee vs. flan with Layne. I have learned by sad experience that, if I feel passionately about anything, I should never present it as a topic for debate with Layne because, without fail, he does not back down until I have recanted whatever my opinion was about whatever topic I brought up, to the point that, now, I basically have no convictions whatsoever. The bottom line is, I still firmly believe that creme brulee and flan are two completely different entities. Creme brulee is wonderful, and flan is creepy. Creme brulee is served in a ramekin. Flan is freestanding, and it wiggles. Ew.

Anyway, after that, I used the torch whenever I could. I've had to replace the butane since I bought it (in my defense, it doesn't hold much). I made creme brulee cupcakes, which are not in the Martha book, turned out bad, and do not need to be discussed ever again.

And I decided that, despite my best efforts to make the recipes that use seasonal fruit, I was, at long last, going to make the s'mores cupcakes I had been prepping for since I started this insane project three weeks ago (I can't believe it's only been three weeks).

So, here's the recipe:

S'mores Cupcakes (makes 24)

1 1/2 c. all-purpose flour

1 1/3 c. graham flour (1 cup graham flour=2/3 c. white flour, 1 1/2 tsp. wheat germ, under 1/3 c. wheat bran. I put the wheat germ in a 1/3 measuring cup and filled it to the top with wheat bran)

2 tsp. baking powder

1 1/2 tsp. salt

1 1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon

1 1/4 c. unsalted butter (2 1/2 sticks. I know. It's just better if you don't think about it).

2 c. packed light brown sugar

1/4 c. honey

6 large eggs (Again, don't think about it).

2 tsp. pure vanilla extract (the fake stuff is fine)

Chocolate Ganache Glaze

Marshmallow Frosting

First, preheat the oven to 350. Line standard muffin tins with paper liners. I used the groovy ones I bought at Michael's recently. Whisk together both flours, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon.

Cream butter, brown sugar, and honey until pale and fluffy. Beat in eggs and vanilla. Add flour mixture. Beat until just combined.

Fill cups about three-quarters full.

Bake, rotating tins halfway through, until golden brown, about 20 minutes. Martha says to bake for 25 minutes, but I would advise you to start checking at 20 minutes because they go from golden brown to burned really quickly.

Martha notes that a cake tester, inserted in the center of a cupcake, should come out with only a few moist crumbs attached. I found the recipe yielded 2 dozen standard cupcakes and another 2 dozen mini cupcakes.

But this is just the first step. I made these on Monday night, flash froze them, and stored them in Ziploc freezer bags. Then, on Wednesday night, I made the Chocolate Ganache Glaze.

Chocolate Ganache Glaze

(Makes about 1 1/4 cups)

6 oz. finely chopped semisweet chocolate. Go ahead, use chocolate chips. I won't tell Martha.

2/3 c. heavy cream

1 Tbsp. light corn syrup

Place chocolate in a heatproof bowl. Bring cream and syrup to a simmer in a small saucepan over medium high heat. Remove from heat and pour over chocolate. When chocolate begins to melt, gently stir into cream until it is smooth and glossy. Can be stored up to 5 days in the refrigerator, but gently heat in microwave before use.

Spoon 2 tsp. over each cupcake. The cupcakes sink after baking, creating a nice crater to fill with glaze. I'm not sure if they were supposed to do that, but that's what mine did.

Then, Thursday morning, I made the marshmallow frosting.

Marshmallow Frosting (makes enough for 24 cupcakes)

1 envelope unflavored gelatin (1 scant Tbsp.)

1/2 c. plus 1/4 c. cold water

1 c. sugar

In a small mixing bowl, sprinkle gelatin over 1/3 c. cold water. Allow gelatin to soften, about 5 minutes. Unflavored gelatin looks a little gross.

Heat remaining 1/4 c. water and sugar in a saucepan over medium-high heat, stirring until sugar is dissolved. Stop stirring.

Clip a candy thermometer to the side of pan. Boil syrup until it reaches soft-ball stage (238 F), brushing down sides of pan with wet pastry brush to prevent crystals from forming.

Remove from heat. Add syrup to softened gelatin. WARNING: This mixture stinks. I was reminded of my mission, when I lived 20 minutes from LeRoy, NY, where Jell-O was invented. We visited the Jell-O museum and learned that gelatin is not a vegetarian product. I found that slightly disturbing, but it did not stop me from eating Jell-O. However, I was vividly reminded of that fact by the smell of sugar and gelatin.

Whisk mixture by hand until cool.

Use an electric mixer to whisk on medium high speed until soft, glossy (but not dry) peaks form (8-10 minutes. And, no, I did not use my KitchenAid for this because the bowl was still dirty from making the cupcakes. I used my sad little hand mixer, which worked just fine). Use immediately.

I put the frosting in a decorating bag, snipped the corner off, and piped it onto my cupcakes. I was disappointed. In Martha's picture, the cupcakes all look like they are wearing Smurf hats. My frosting was decidedly too runny for that.

However, I got to use my blowtorch on them, so all was well.

I have started bringing my cupcakes to work, to share at our Thursday meeting. In addition to being my favorites thus far, my coworkers spoke highly of them. This week, I distributed the extras among some of the other therapists in our hallway, which I have decided is better than leaving them in the breakroom for the psychiatry residents to eat. Last week, someone took a cupcake, bit it, and then stuck it back on the plate with the other cupcakes. I'm going to have to see some improvements, behavior-wise, before I leave cupcakes out for the doctors to partake.

Anyway, as I was explaining the project to Dave and Rob, two of the guys from my doctoral cohort, Rob said, with a mouthful of cupcake, "Moka [my cohort nickname], I think this is the year (2009-2010) that you are going to get married. I think the cupcakes are going to do it."

I replied, "Well, if I am bringing you guys cupcakes, then you should be out finding me a man."

His response? "Oh, crap."

Two kinds of Mini-Cheesecakes

I wish that the focus of this post were really the two kinds of cheesecake I made for Mix-N-Munch this weekend, but the truth is, the recipes themselves pale beside the piece of equipment I bought to help me make them.

When I was in high school, my first summer job was working at a Baskin-Robbins. As first jobs went, it wasn't too bad. I didn't have to wear anything undignified, I never had to work on Sunday, and, once a shift, I could have a child-sized scoop of ice cream, the cost of which was not deducted from my paycheck. Also, my right arm (the one I used for scooping) got very toned, which looked slightly odd when compared to my left arm, which was puny by comparison.

The big downside was that, because I was working in food service, I saw things no lover of ice cream should ever have to see. For awhile, I couldn't eat ice cream at all, which, in my mind, was worse than not having elbows. To this day, I have trouble going into a Baskin-Robbins, and I'm pretty sure I would have a lot of trouble eating one of their ice cream cakes. Please don't ask for more details. Trust me, it's for your own good. And mine. I'm not sure who reads this blog, and I probably should watch what I say about people I used to know.

Since that first summer when I worked at BR, I have coveted a KitchenAid mixer. We had one, which we used for whipping non-dairy whipped topping for cakes (not to be confused with the stuff in the aerosol cans that was real whipped cream, which we used for sundaes) as well as for making the frosting for ice cream cakes out of vanilla ice cream. I told myself, as I watched the paddle attachment on the mixer spin round and round that some day, I would own a KitchenAid mixer, and that, when I did, my life would be wonderful. I would no longer be held back by the trappings of a handheld mixer that overheated quickly and had those beaters that never seemed to get clean. I would no longer have to whisk things by hand or knead bread dough.

Years passed. I went to college, then on a mission, and then graduate school. In that time, I lived with over 50 girls in small apartments, earning just enough money to live on, and, often, mixing cookie dough using only one of those bowls shaped like a bedpan (or like the removable bowl that goes under a training potty) and a wooden spoon. This last year, two significant things happened:

• I finally started to have extra income. This is in part because I have two jobs now, and in part because I still basically live like I have since I started college. I still buy generic toilet paper and cereal, and I only run my AC when I go to sleep. If this means that I have turned into a cheapskate, so be it.
• I live alone, which means that all of the cupboards are mine, all fridge space is mine, and all counter space is mine. I can clutter it up with whatever I like.

When I started the cupcake project, I began fantasizing about buying a KitchenAid mixer. However, I have noticed that there are basically two kinds of KitchenAid mixers that are available to me in Lubbock:

• Those sold at Bed Bath and Beyond, which are heavy-duty and extremely pretty, but a little pricey for someone who buys generic toilet paper and cereal.
• Those sold at Target and Wal-Mart, which are within my price range, but have motors that I imagine would be too weak to knead bread dough. The last thing I want for an appliance I will have to drop hundreds of dollars on is for it to conk out like a Sunbeam blender. And I feel like, if I am buying a KitchenAid, it should be able to do bread.

Then, Thursday afternoon, I made a trip to Sam's Club for cream cheese for the cheesecakes, and I spied this:

$269.92, 475-watt motor, and it was red.

Without getting too excited, I left Sam's Club and did some comparison shopping. The Target KitchenAid mixer cost $199.99, and had a 275-watt motor. Weak sauce. Plus, it was only available in white. Can you imagine? They had another model for $250, which was had a 450-watt motor, and a smaller bowl.

I stopped at Bed Bath and Beyond, conscious of the butter and cream cheese I had sitting in my trunk, and took a look at their mixers. They had three models: the Artisan Stand Mixer, which came in many pretty colors, cost $299.99, and had a 325-watt motor; the Professional 5-Plus, which cost $319.99, and had a 450-watt motor; and the Professional 600 series, which cost $399.99, had a 575-watt motor, and held a 6-quart bowl.

The bottom line: the only mixer I could find that had a more powerful motor than the Sam's Club model cost an extra $130. For my purposes, I couldn't imagine it would be worth the extra money. If your local Sam's Club has these in stock, I hope this price comparison has been helpful for you.

So, I went back to Sam's Club and bought the red mixer.

I had to wait two days before I had a chance to use it. I spent Thursday night working on a paper, and Friday night and Saturday morning working at the temple, which is a subject for another post.

Saturday night, I finally fired it up to make cookies and cream mini cheesecakes and raspberry marble mini cheesecakes. I pause to note that, growing up, mini cheesecakes in cupcake tins were one of my mom's specialties. They're quick and easy, and they seem impressive. These cheesecakes are a little more time-consuming, but I think they'll be perfect for mix-and-munch.

Cookies and Cream Cheesecakes

42 Oreos (or other chocolate sandwich cookies), 30 left whole, and 12 coarsely chopped (I used my food processor).

2 lbs. cream cheese, room temperature

1 c. sugar

1 tsp. vanilla extract (I used imitation)

4 large eggs, room temperature, slightly beaten

1 c. sour cream

pinch of salt

First, preheat the oven to 275. Line your standard muffin tins with paper liners. I used aluminum liners because a) I think they look more elegant for cheesecakes, and b) they hold their shape better, which was important when I had to take the cheesecakes out of the tins and put them in the fridge. Place a whole cookie in the bottom of each liner.

With an electric mixer on medium high speed, beat cream cheese until smooth, scraping down sides of bowl as needed. Gradually add sugar, and beat until combined. Beat in vanilla.

Here's a shot of my cream cheese. I bought it at Sam's club in a giant 3 lb. bar.

Drizzle in eggs, a bit at a time, beating to combine and scraping down sides of bowl as needed. Beat in sour cream and salt. Stir in chopped cookies by hand.

Divide batter evenly among cookie-filled cups, filling each almost to the top. While the recipe said it would make 30, I got 39 out of my filling, plus an additional 16 mini cupcakes, using Mini-Oreos as the "crust." Bake for 22 minutes, rotating halfway through.

As soon as these were cool enough for me to grab them with my bare hands, I stuck them in the fridge. They are supposed to refrigerate for at least four hours before you serve them. I let mine chill overnight.

Then I started on the second recipe.

Raspberry Marble Cheesecakes

1 1/2 c. finely ground graham crackers (about 12 sheets). I used my food processor again, which meant I had to wash out the bowl.

3 tablespoons butter

1 1/2 c. plus 5 Tbsp. sugar

6 0z. fresh raspberries

2 lbs. cream cheese. For those of you obsessed with this kind of thing, yes, that means four boxes of cream cheese.

pinch of salt

1 tsp. vanilla extract

4 large eggs

Preheat the oven to 325, and line the muffin tins with more cupcake papers.

I ground up the graham crackers in the food processor.

And then I combined them with the melted butter and 3 Tbsp. sugar.

Then, I dropped a tablespoon into each of the cupcake liners, and pressed it down with the back of the spoon.

I was supposed to bake them for five minutes while the crust set. I did not. Oops. As a result, the crust did not hold together when people bit into it. Only one person (within earshot) complained.

I pureed the raspberries in my food processor, and hit a snag when I tried to pour them through my strainer.

The holes in the strainer were too large, and the seeds slipped through, which meant I had to make a trek to Wal-Mart at 11:30 p.m. to buy another strainer.

This one cost me $3.00, and looks exactly like the one my mom had growing up, except that, through time, that one got a little warped and looked kind of like a Smurf hat on the bottom.

Meanwhile, I beat up the cream cheese, added 1 1/2 c. sugar, eggs, vanilla, and salt one at a time.

Then I used my brand new triggered ice cream scooper to scoop batter on top of the crusts that I didn't bake. I filled 30 cups.

I used my brand new strainer to strain as much of liquid as I could. I mixed it with 2 Tbsp. of sugar, and dolloped it on the cheesecakes. Using a chopstick, I swirled the raspberry with the cream cheese mixture and slid the pans in the oven for 22 minutes, rotating halfway through.

The verdict:

I think the raspberry marbled ones were a bigger draw. However, I stacked them on top of the cookies and cream ones, and I think some people missed the cookies and cream.

As for the mixer, I am sort of embarrassed to admit that it didn't quite get all the cream cheese blended in with the sugar and eggs. I'm not sure why, but it hasn't made me lose faith in KitchenAid yet.

Blueberry Cupcakes

What is the difference between a cupcake and a muffin? Here's a link that provides some insight. My favorite part was this test: if you throw it against the wall, and it goes *poof*, it's a cupcake. If it goes *thud*, it's a muffin.

I ask this as I make blueberry cupcakes because, as far as I can tell, they could easily be blueberry muffins.

Here's how my week went:

On Monday, I made yellow cupcakes with dark chocolate frosting. See above post because I am not creating a hyperlink to it.

On Tuesday, I told Stephanie not to let me bake more cupcakes until I got rid of the 112 mini cupcakes in my fridge.

I had a killer day on Wednesday and baked these when I got home from work, despite making myself accountable to someone and worrying a little that I was turning into Crazy Cupcake Lady (better than Crazy Cat Lady, but not by much).

Side Note: From the now defunct TV show Pushing Daisies, I learned the phrase "stress baking." I think that's what I do. It's definitely what I did on Wednesday night, Monday night, Thursday afternoon, and Friday night. I feel like it's better than stress eating. However, stress eating is much easier. When I'm done stress baking, I either have to become a stress eater or find some way to get rid of all the stuff I've baked. In a perfect world, I guess I would hook up with a stress eater. In the meantime, I've spent a lot of time this last week thinking of people I know who could use cupcakes. Fortunately, I haven't found anyone yet who has turned down cupcakes.

Thursday, I finally got rid of all the yellow cupcakes.

Friday, I got my theory of therapy paper to its required page length. I now have two weeks to refine it before I have to turn it in. I also made creme brulee, which is a subject for another post.

Saturday, I confessed my sins to Stephanie.

Here's the recipe, which I could not find on Martha's website:

Blueberries-and-Cream Cupcakes

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1 1/2 cups cake flour, sifted

1 tablespoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature

1 3/4 cups sugar

4 large eggs, room temperature

2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

1 1/4 cups milk, room temperature

2 cups fresh blueberries, plus more for garnish (I bought a quart, and it seemed to be enough)

whipped cream

There are a few things you can count on when you make a Martha Stewart cupcake recipe:

• You'll preheat the oven to 350 and line your muffin tins with liners. Don't even think about trying to just spray your tins with Pam.

• Then you'll combine all the dry ingredients, one of which will be cake flour.

• Then you'll cream butter (which is always unsalted) and sugar, and add eggs and vanilla, beating after each egg. You'll probably marvel at how many eggs one of Martha's recipes requires. You may feel the urge to jump on the treadmill.

• Then you'll alternate adding the dry ingredients and milk (about a third at a time) until everything is combined.

Washing the berries and folding them in is the last thing you do before you bake the muffins. I also picked some rogue stems off of them before I stirred them into the batter.

Bake the standard cupcakes for about 25 minutes, or the minis for 15 minutes. Martha also likes you to rotate the cupcakes halfway through baking. Sometimes I don't, just so I can sit back and laugh defiantly. Take that, Martha!

I picked this recipe because it called for fresh blueberries, which I can get at my grocery store for fairly cheap. I figure I'll do all the recipes that call for fresh berries while they are in season, and move onto zucchini, pumpkin, and sweet potato recipes in the fall.

Here are the cupcakes balanced on the sink in my kitchen. Pretty exciting.

This time around, I got wise and baked mostly standard sized cupcakes first, and then, with the remaining batter, did two batches of mini-cupcakes because Martha suggests garnishing a cupcake tray with a few mini-cupcakes is a good thing.

After the cupcakes are cool, put a dollop of whipped cream on each one, and garnish with fresh berries.

I went to Michael's last week and found cupcake boxes that were so cute, I couldn't resist. If I were to start my own bakery, these would not even be close to cost-effective. However, to take them to a friend for her birthday, this box was perfect:

Substitutions: I still use imitation vanilla instead of pure vanilla extract, but I have started using unsalted butter, even though I think it's kind of stupid.

Equipment purchased: I was in Bed Bath and Beyond and discovered a fabulous set of cupcake equipment, including a standard sized pan (I only have one), a mini pan (which is twice the size of the one I have) a 9x13 inch pan, and this fabulous carrying case and tray:

The tray has holes for 12 standard cupcakes or 24 mini cupcakes. However, if you just put them directly into the carrying case, you can fit a lot more, which is what I did to get them to Relief Society for my lesson, and then to Stephanie's house, and, finally, to the house of some guys in my branch for a game night. This might possibly be the best investment I have ever made.

Utah

Since I moved to Texas, I have had to space out my visits home. This year, as I have had to travel more than I usually do for semi-work-related things, I decided to make one trip in the summer and make it good.

I normally work Tuesdays and Wednesdays, which meant if I left on a Thursday, and took the following week off, I still didn't have to be back in town until Monday night, which is exactly what I did.

Melanee and the kids picked me up, and we headed back to Lehi to get George from work. While we were waiting for him, we got out of the car and played on the lawn at IM Flash. Here are some shots of the kids as we waited. It ended up taking us a lot longer than we anticipated. Sammie had to use the restroom, and Mel made George go back up to his office and print out coupons.

I bought this drum for the branch movie. I had no use for it afterward, so I brought it with me to give to Kevin. His parents were overjoyed that I found him a toy that makes noise. I love the expression on his little face.

Here is Sammie doing ballet for me on the lawn outside IM Flash. I have other great shots where she is dead asleep wearing her Cinderella dress and a Disney Princesses Pull-Up, but I promised her parents I would not post them here.

After picking up George, we drove to Sweet Tomatoes, where we met up with my mom. Sweet Tomatoes is one of my favorite Utah restaurants, so I was very excited. Plus, they have a wide selection, so the kids liked it, too.

One of Kevin's favorite things is to put his face against glass. Here he is pressing against the door to Sweet Tomatoes while his father tries to get him to stop.

It seems like my visits to Utah are too short, and I try to cram as much in as I possibly can. I spent a couple of days with my girls in Provo, checked in with professors and old friends from my MFT days, and spent time with various family members. Also, Melanee and I had several recipes we wanted to try out, and she promised to show me how to make bread and a quilt. For this reason, I don't have a very exact chronology of how events unfolded during my visit. Here are some of the highlights:

We spent a day at Thanksgiving Point, taking the kids to see Up! and then to the dinosaur museum.

Here's a shot of Sammie and I at the Dinosaur Museum at Thanksgiving Point. They have an exhibit that demonstrates erosion. Sammie was not a big fan of getting sandy. Sammie, Melanee, and I were all wearing matching outfits that day. I'm pretty sure Sammie wanted to wear a dress or a Halloween costume or something Mel didn't want her to wear, so, to get her to wear the outfit her mother had selected, I put on a matching outfit. Then, Mel came out of her room wearing a shirt that was the same color as mine. She tried to change, but Sammie insisted that she match us.

I love this picture because it reminds me how different Melanee's life is from my life. In my regular life, people rarely put their feet on me. Melanee does not have that luxury.

Some things I do not have pictures of:

George introduced us to the movie Troll 2, which we watched with the corresponding RiffTrax. Without giving too much of the intricate plot details away, I will say this about Troll 2:

• It is not about trolls. In the entire movie, not one troll ever appeared.


• It has to be one of the worst movies I have ever seen. The special effects were laughable, the plot was nonsensical in most places, and bizarre in other places, and it contained some of the worst acting and forced dialogue that ever existed. Not surprisingly, two of the actors have also appeared in some very prominent Mormon movies (that it is to say, movies made by Mormons, about Mormons, but not actually put out by the Church).


• It was filmed in my mother's home town, Morgan, Utah. In fact, there were a couple of scenes in which they used locals as extras, and my mom recognized some of them. I don't think it's something the good people of Morgan like to bring up.


• One of the actors in the movie has gone back and made a documentary about the movie. It has gained something of a cult following as one of the worst movies of all time, which is what the documentary is about. Also, I think the director appears, defending the decisions he made regarding the plot and dialogue. The documentary is currently being screened at independent film festivals across the country. Rest assured that, when it is available on DVD, Stephanie, Ashley, and I will have some sort of ceremonial screening of it.
  

George, Dad, Anne, and I ran in the Provo 5K on July 4th. It was not too spectacular for me, but I did appreciate Melanee, Sammie, and Kevin cheering us on a the finish line. Mel took a picture of me, but I do not have it on my computer, and I'm not sure I would post it if I did.

I watched Sammie and Kevin while their parents took an overnight trip. We watched 101 Dalmatians and the Little People video (at least 5 times), made bread and cookies, and danced in the living room. And we were all alive and not injured when their parents came home.

Mel showed me how to make a quilt (more on that later) and some of the worst jam of all time. It wasn't her fault that it turned out bad, but it did turn out pretty bad. We also made lemon pasta, peach crisp, yogurt cream, and chicken tikka masala, all of which turned out really well, so I guess it was inevitable for us to have one recipe that turned out badly.

Except for the apricot jam, it was a great trip, and I had a fabulous time seeing my family. It makes me wish I lived closer to them, or that I could visit more often. Some day.

Yellow Buttermilk Cupcakes with Dark Chocolate Frosting

I had big plans for the first recipe post on this cupcake project. I bought a variety of ingredients today, from blueberries to gelatin to whipping cream, and a small blowtorch. I still have plans for other recipes this week, or, possibly next week. But something came up, and I got the feeling that I needed to make some cupcakes for some specific people who, after some prodding, requested yellow cupcakes with chocolate frosting.

So the first recipe (aside from the coconut cupcakes last Friday) that I will be making from my Martha Stewart cupcake book is her recipe for yellow butter cupcakes. Plain old yellow cupcakes with chocolate frosting. And sprinkles if I have some in my apartment.

One of the things I love about cupcakes, and this project in general, is the amount of control I have over things. It sounds weird, but I am having one of those days in which I realize how much of my career and my personal life are beyond my control, despite my best efforts. Cupcakes, if you follow the recipe, should turn out right. I like things in my life to turn out right, which is why I followed Martha's recipe and used cake flour for the first time in my life.

I hit a snag when I got home with all my ingredients and realized I had no regular sized cupcake liners. I did, however, have close to a million of the mini cupcake liners and one mini muffin tin.

After five tiny batches, it didn't look like the level of the batter had changed at all.

I improvised by doing something I had qualms about-filling the liners and baking them in a cake pan. Experience has taught me that they don't hold their shape that way, but I really wanted to go to sleep before 2 a.m. Here were the results:

I didn't like the cupcakes shaped like hexagons, so I went back to twelve at a time. Finally, when about half the batter was gone, I gave up and put the rest in the fridge.

For those of you wondering where my theory of therapy paper has gone to during this cupcake frenzy, let me put your minds at ease: I have now written 10 pages, double-spaced. Only 15 more to go.

The next morning, I woke up and drove to Wal-Mart to buy regular sized cupcake liners, which is probably what I should have done in the first place, as the remaining batter made 14 regular-sized cupcakes.

I also made dark chocolate frosting to frost the cupcakes with. I will warn you now: nothing about these cupcakes screams health food. This frosting has a lot of chocolate and a lot of butter.

The chocolate had to be melted, cooled, and then added to the frosting. I have worked with chocolate enough to know that melting it is a delicate procedure, and that if any water gets into it while you are melting it, you can basically kiss your chocolate goodbye. I was supposed to allow 30 minutes for the melted chocolate to cool down, but I did not have that kind of time, so I improvised by making an ice bath for the chocolate container.

It's resting on a bed of frozen fries and shredded coconut.

The frosting was soft enough that I could dip the cupcakes into it, rather than having to spread it on. Also, because I am taking these cupcakes to kids, I added some extra powdered sugar because I find most kids don't like dark chocolate that much. I also threw on some sprinkles I found at Wal-Mart, which I think makes them look more festive.

Substitutions: I did not buy buttermilk because I knew I could substitute regular milk with lemon juice or vinegar. Also, I used salted butter instead of unsalted butter, just because. Then, I got worried and reduced the amount of salt I added to the dry ingredients. I just ate one, and it seems like it was okay.

Final observations:

• For a simple yellow cake recipe, it's pretty good. It's oddly moist on the outside and a little dry on the inside, but it goes well with dark chocolate frosting.


• To keep this project going, I anticipate I am going to be buying some ingredients weekly, like eggs, butter, and cupcake papers.


• I will never again make any batch of cupcakes into mini cupcakes unless the recipe instructs me to, and if that occurs, I will be buying another mini cupcake tin. A bigger mini cupcake tin.


• I have to find some way to make the amount of frosting I have cover the cupcakes I have without leaving superfluous frosting.


• I have to find some way to get rid of the 112 mini cupcakes that are sitting in my kitchen right now. Does anyone know a cleaner who will come in with a bag full of milk bottles and make them all disappear?

As a wrap-up for this post, here is a shot of my arm after I finished cleaning the kitchen.

I had been sitting at my computer for 20 minutes before I noticed it.