Random Synaptic Firings

A New Year

2012-01-29T22:30:00.000-08:00

I realize that, in a couple of days, it will be February, and the New Year thing will be remarkably late, but I feel justified in whining that this month has been crazy, and I do not feel guilty for not blogging during January. I do not have the same excuse for the other months in which I have not blogged.

Some day I will add posts for some of the recent happenings in my life: a trip to Lubbock, a concert, a trip to Park City during the Sundance Film Festival. However, all of these things occurred the short span of a week, along with a pretty important job interview. So those will have to wait.

For now, I want to talk about my New Year's resolutions because I feel like it is a good way to hold myself accountable to accomplish them. I only had one resolution for myself for 2012, which goes something like this:

Quit messing around. (I know, it sounds like something my dad used to say to my brother Shane when he was a kid, accompanied by a good-natured shove to the back of Shane's head).

It seems like, since my mission, I have been looking forward to accomplishing some big goal in my life: graduating, getting into a masters' program, finishing classes, getting hours, taking the licensure exam, defending theses/dissertations, getting a job, keeping a job. You get the idea. Sometimes, I use these things as an excuse not to do other things in my life--the little things.

Consequently, I do not exercise regularly, my temple attendance has gotten spotty, and there are perpetually dishes in my sink. And I let these things slide because of the bigger goals, and think, "I'll have plenty of time for that stuff after (fill in the blank)."

Well, I am running out of these big goals/excuses, and it's time to fix some of these little things in my life.

Happy 2012!

A quote, revisited

2011-11-10T13:21:00.001-08:00

Casey: Hey, you want to get involved with this?
Dan: I so don’t.
Casey: Didn’t you used to care about these things? And it wasn’t that long ago that you did.
Dan: No.
Casey: I mean, it was like yesterday.
Dan: Right.
Casey: Now, when I say yesterday, I’m not speaking metaphorically. It was yesterday! What happened to your values?
Dan: I find that maintaining them is a lot of work. I take a day off now and then.
Casey: You take a vacation from doing the right thing?
Dan: Yeah. I don’t loot store fronts or anything, but once in a while, when I consider the effort it takes to diligently adhere to a moral compass I take myself out of the line up and I rest for the next game.

I don't write much on this blog anymore. And even when I wrote pretty consistently, I never said much about politics, religion, or, to be truly honest, anything that is really important to me, except for my family and friends. But this week, the intersectionality (a nonexistent word that comes up in my profession) of my undergraduate family violence class, my employment at a university, my position as a mandated reporter, and my love of college football have caused me some unrest.

I have linked this timeline of events to my blog because, for those three people who read this who may or may not be college football fans, I don't have the energy to relay all of the events that have gone down at Penn State this week. Suffice it to say, a football coach (defensive coordinator) for the program was arrested on Saturday with 40 counts of sexual abuse of eight boys he had access to through a charity dedicated to helping "troubled" boys from "dysfunctional families." Forty counts. The man has been retired since 1999, but has continued to enjoy the perks of Penn State football, a storied program with a head coach who, until yesterday, had been there for 46 seasons and brought the school much glory and honor.

Then, yesterday, the head coach got fired. This has brought many mixed reactions from fans, sportswriters, NCAA officials, and those people who comment on internet stories. The reactions do not have to do with whether or not it is wrong to sexually abuse a child: people are pretty unanimous that child sexual abuse is okay. Score one. The unrest has to do with what a head football coach-a person in a position of leadership, and, if I'm not mistaken, a mandatory reporter under the Clery Act-should or should not do if it is reported to him that one of his colleagues has been seen on molesting a child on school property. There is also unrest about the person who witnessed the child being molested-a man who, at the time, was a student assistant, but is now also a coach at Penn State. In the case of the student, he reported the incident to the head coach, who, in turn, reported some version of the incident to the university's athletic director, who elected to handle it internally.

This happened years ago, and the details are just coming out as a result of one of the victims going to the authorities. Like I said, the head coach was fired yesterday, and many people in the town of State College protested this decision. Others, while supporting the decision to fire the head coach, are wondering about the former student assistant, still employed by the Penn State football team, and calling for his termination, as well. Again, the unrest seems to stem from whose responsibility people view it is to handle these things, and whether or not they are handled in the proper way.

The bottom line is this: the man who abused these children-children who were already vulnerable coming from poverty and absent homes-needs to be punished for his crimes with the stiffest penalties the law allows. But, as for those who knew and didn't say anything, or tried to cover up what had happened, it gets a little fuzzier. There's the university piece: what is the university protocol? There's the mandated reporter piece: do I have a responsibility to report something to an official?

Having worked in a university, I understand that there is a chain of command that must be followed. Universities have reputations to protect, and they like to have control over how things are handled. When I see something happen with my colleagues, or my students, I tend to have this thought process: is this something I can talk to the person directly about and leave it at that? If so, I usually do, and it dies there. If not, I ask myself, who is the person I need to inform next? If it is a student, the answer is typically either that person's clinical supervisor or their thesis/dissertation chair. However, if the matter is serious enough, I typically talk to my immediate boss-the program chair. I have a lot of faith in my boss, and expect her to do the right thing. I find that she does. As a student, I depended on the faculty around me to do their jobs, and if I had a concern, I would leave it with them. But I recognize that, as I type this, I have never had a situation come up that involved any of my colleagues or students abusing a child.

However, I am a mandated reporter, which means that, if I see or hear of anyone abusing a child, I HAVE to report that. I could lose my license and my job. I take that pretty seriously. I met with a student for supervision today, and told her twice that she needed to report an instance of child abuse, for the safety of the kids, for her, and for me. As a therapist, it is something I struggle with. After meeting with clients for a few sessions, I begin to have a relationship with them. If I find out in the course of therapy that they have been abusing their children, reporting them becomes tough, even though I know it is the right thing to do, and even though I always tell them at the beginning of therapy that I have to do it.

Then, there's this piece I don't want to talk about that is sort of nagging at me: I love college football. I originally heard this story on a sports talk radio show that I listen to every morning as I drive into work. I have season tickets to BYU football, and I have cable TV expressly so that I can watch college football games on Saturday. College football scandals drive me crazy, particularly when they are related to recruitment, and the teams involved get to go to BCS Bowls. And while I truly believe that, when a scandal goes down in a college sports program, there should be ramifications, I know that it is a little bit harder to swallow when they happen to my team, and my team is poised to compete for a national championship. And, for the record, I do not think that violating university or NCAA policies are in the same universe as pedophilia, but I do think that when we break rules, we need to expect consequences, even if they interfere with our sports teams.

That said, the bottom line for me is that child abuse is wrong. It is wrong when it happens in families; it is wrong when it happens in institutions. There are times, as a therapist, a professor, and a human being, when I weigh the costs of a battle and decide it isn't worth it. However, reporting child abuse should never be thought of as "not worth it" for any reason, be it institutional ramifications, because it should be someone else's responsibility, or merely because I don't want to get involved. If I as a bystander take the position that it is not my responsibility to make sure that something is done, than whose responsibility is it? At some point, that only leaves two people: the victim, or the perpetrator. Obviously, perpetrators are unlikely to report themselves. Putting the responsibility on a child victim to report abuse sends a message that, once again, society has failed to protect him-a lesson he already knows too well.

Summer Wrap Up

2011-10-16T21:49:00.000-07:00

In the course of the summer, there were a few highlights that probably should have merited an entire blog post, but didn't because I never sat down and turned them into one. But here were some of the ways in which I spent my summer vacation:

...my first-ever trip to the Stadium of Fire to see, among other things, Brad Paisley, David Archuleta, and the guy from the BYU Library/Old Spice Commercial...

...visiting the Salt Lake Japanese American Citizens' League's obon festival...

...eating sushi and gyoza unlike anything we get in a restaurant...

...going back to watch the taiko drummers...

...and the dancers...

...visiting Shane's family in California and watching Lisee eat rice and noodles in Little Tokyo...

...taking Kevin and Sammie shopping in Park City...

...and watching them ride the merry-go-round...

...seeing outdoor movies and plays with the girls...

...growing a garden...

....periodically forgetting to pick the vegetables for long periods of time...

...and basking in the beauty of one lone sunflower.

All in all, not a bad summer.

And now for something completely different...

2011-10-16T21:26:00.000-07:00

Three days after the Lea Salonga concert, I found myself in the BYU Broadcasting building watching the BYU/Texas football game with Melanee and George.

BYU, as some of you may know, declared their independence last year. However, this season marks the first season that will be affected by that change. Much like Michael Scott declaring bankruptcy, just saying it is not enough. It meant that, while BYU's football team would no longer be bound by the constraints of a conference (specifically the Mountain West Conference) the rest of the sports had to be housed somewhere (specifically the West Coast Conference). It means that BYU is now responsible for scheduling its own season and finding teams willing to play during weeks of the year typically devoted to conference play, as well as some .

What does this have to do with my Saturday night? One of the major factors in BYU's decision to go independent has to do with their TV station. In their deal with the Mountain West Conference, the conference controlled BYU's football TV exposure, despite the fact that BYU has some incredible TV facilities. Now that they are independent, they have more freedom to show football on their own station. That said, the game was broadcast on ESPN. But we got there early to watch the pregame show live in the studio.

After the pregame show, we stayed to watch the game on a giant screen.

Here are some things that I observed about the game with a large group of fans in a small space:

In the space of a stadium, you can't hear all of the things fans are shouting, like, "He's got all day to throw!" or, "Who were you passing to?" In a small theater, you can hear all of it.
Regardless of what the small squad of cheerleaders who do not go on the road with the team and instead have to cheer at the pregame show say, I did not feel motivated to join in cheers, do the wave, or any of the other things that I would have done if I had actually been in the stadium.
The vending machines in the broadcast building, while more moderately priced, had nothing on stadium food.

Also, the Cougars suffered a heartbreaking loss to a still-rebuilding Texas team, which would have been worse if I'd gone to Austin to see it. Of course, I would have been in Austin, which is always a plus.

On My Own

2011-09-07T22:42:00.000-07:00

Have I mentioned how much I love Broadway musicals? Yes, yes I have. Also Here, here, and here. Whew, that's a relief.

I have neglected to mention that this summer, I saw the same production of Aida three times in the same week, as well as a production of Singing in the Rain that was only worth seeing once. And, as much as I enjoy the local theatre, I wish I could take more trips to big cities to see more Broadway-quality productions.

So, I was very excited to hear that Lea Salonga was performing at BYU.

Who is that? you may be asking yourself. She is probably more familiar to you than you might think. She is the singing voice of Princess Jasmine in Aladdin, as well as Mulan. Additionally, she was the original Kim in Miss Saigon, and the first Asian Fantine and Eponine in Les Miserables. In fact, she has appeared on both of the Les Miz specials that have aired on PBS. You could think of her as the Filipina Kristin Chenoweth, if that helps you. She ranks up there with Ming Na and Keiko Agena in terms of Asian/Asian American entertainer heroines of mine.

But I didn't decide until the last minute that I wanted to go, so I went alone. I bought my ticket online 2 hours before the show started and just stayed at work until it was time to go over to the HFAC where the show was.

The show was AWESOME! She sang some of my favorite Broadway songs, from "On the Street Where You Live," from My Fair Lady, to "I Dreamed a Dream," from Les Miz, to "For Good," from Wicked, and even a little Sondheim.

But she didn't stop there. She sang the songs she sang in Disney movies and invited an audience member to sing the part of Aladdin in "A Whole New World." She sang a song in Tagalog, and covered the Beatles and Lady Gaga (in English).

At that performance, BYUtv was filming a segment for a show called "The Song That Changed My Life." For that segment, she sang "On My Own," also from Les Miserables. In high school, this was probably my favorite Broadway song, and her performance was so incredible. Neither of these is the reason I had tears in my eyes. I became very conscious of the fact that they were filming, and my throat got dry, like I needed to cough. While I held it in for the entire song, my eyes started to water.

Some other thoughts I had about the performance:

I had awesome seats. I think I was 10th row, dead center. The problem (that I often forget) with me being in the center of an audience is that I am shorter than just about everybody, and, invariably, someone really tall will come sit down in front of me just before the performance starts, blocking my view. That was exactly what happened. The seating was tiered, but this guy had to be 6'3" or something, with a head the size of my brother Danny's.

I have added this picture of a doll to give some perspective. Imagine the cake part is actually someone's head, and that the doll is the part of Lea that was not blocked by the aforementioned head when I was sitting tall in my seat. There has got to be a better way to arrange seating. If they had a box to check that asked if you were under 5' and would have trouble seeing, I would happily check that box and be moved further away in order to be able to see.

I have never seen so many Asians in together in Provo before. Where do they go the rest of the time?
While I think, in this case, she definitely deserved it, people at BYU are not very discriminating in who or what they will give a standing ovation.
There were a lot of older people in the audience who seemed really confused by "Poker Face." As I was trying to leave for home, I waited while a car full of these same people backed out of their space an inch at a time, and then made a 50-point turn.

My Favorite Cancelled-Too-Soon TV Shows

2011-07-31T22:50:00.000-07:00

I will freely admit that I watch a lot of TV. I blame this partly on the fact that I live by myself, and I go a little crazy without some background noise. At the same time, there are really only a few shows that I have gotten really into over the years, and most of them get cancelled before I think they should. Notable exceptions over the years have been ER (which I loved, but stopped watching after Anthony Edwards left), Friends (which peaked for me in Season 4 when Ross said the wrong name at his own wedding), and Gilmore Girls (which I always loved, but definitely cooled off for when Lorelei and Rory both started to make questionable romantic choices).

So, in honor of the finale of Friday Night Lights, here is my review of some of my favorite cancelled shows, all of which can currently be streamed on Netflix if you have not had the pleasure (and, yes, I realize that in using this blog to talk about TV shows, I have crossed a new threshold of blogging geekiness):

(In order of least to most episodes made)

Pushing Daisies

# of Episodes: 22

Synopsis: This show was swallowed up in a perfect storm of big budget, writer's strike, and too original. On the surface, it could be a crime procedural, and yet it featured a main character named Ned, who baked pies and wakened dead people, the girl he loved (who used to be dead) that he couldn't touch, the wry humor of Chi McBride (the detective who exploited Ned's abilities to wake murder victims and find out who killed them), and Kristin Chenoweth with an occasional song-and-dance number. Not to mention the beautiful and surreal set designs and the fairy-tale-like narrator. It never had a chance, but it was great while it lasted.

Draws for me: pies, musical theater

Sports Night

# of episodes: 45

Synopsis: Before the West Wing (sort of), way before The Social Network, but after A Few Good Men, Aaron Sorkin did a low-rated, much beloved show about a nightly sports show. It featured all of the things that Sorkin would become known (and mocked) for, including quick, somewhat repetitive dialogue, the walk-and-talk, and characters who feel the need to bring their resumes into everyday conversation. Doesn't sound appealing, you say? The cast was stellar, (Robert Guillame, Felicity Huffman, Peter Krause, & Josh Charles, to name a few), the characters were engaging, and the sports talk never became a distraction.

Draws for me: sports, talkiness, grown-up Knox Overstreet

Friday Night Lights

# of episodes: 76

Synopsis: This one, for reasons I can't explain, has stayed on the air for five seasons despite the fact that it doesn't really fit into any genre, and looks like it could only be enjoyed by people who are either football fans or who live in Texas (of course, most Texans assume all people who live in Texas are football fans). It is a TV show based on a movie based on a book, which, by definition, should mean it was really bad. However, the result was incredible. It is the story of a coach, his family, a team, and a town, and while the situations they find themselves in may, from time to time, be somewhat contrived (cougar next-door-neighbors, manslaughter, meth dealers with ferrets, etc.), the characters seem like people you know, and their relationships with each other never feel forced. And if you've ever spent any time in West Texas, it's like coming back for a visit (in a good way).

Draws for me: football, relationships, a non-stereotypical, accurate portrayal of West Texas life, Tim Riggins

There are other shows that were cancelled prematurely that I discovered long after they were cancelled (Freaks and Geeks, My So-Called Life, Arrested Development) but I don't feel as attached to them because I never had that angsty relationship with them where I was worried about whether or not we would ever see each other again. Also, liking them now just makes me feel like a poser.

Stanford and Me

2011-06-26T18:42:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago, I went to Stanford University.

There was a conference on sequential methodologies, which, as it turns out, are not exciting. And yet, somehow, they are. But that's beside the point.

The point is that, for three days, I was consistently the dumbest person in every room I frequented, including my hotel room, where I was the only person in the room. I tried not to even talk to anyone, lest anyone blow the whistle on me.

I am not a statistician. I am not a biologist. I am not even a hardcore researcher. I am a therapist who happens to be employed by a larger system that values research and statistical training. And since that system requires stats training of my students, I believe that it is only fair for me to be likewise trained.

But, I will be really honest, I really went to Palo Alto for this:

And this (which came as a recommendation from my brother, who is an expert in Japanese cuisine):

And to snap pictures like this one:

And this one (because I teach an MFT theories class in the winter and make reference to this place roughly 700 times):

And this one (for Kim):

But this is really what made my trip worthwhile:

One was Meyer Lemon. The other was fleur de sel. Both were divine.

Yes, it has finally come to this.

2011-05-21T10:19:00.001-07:00

This post is supposed to be about the time I spent in California with Shane's family.

Unfortunately, to get to why I was in California, I have to confess that I did something I am not proud of:

I went to a mid-singles' conference.

It was not the first I have been to, and I have a feeling it will not be the last. The difference between this one and others, though, is that it attracts people from all over the country--as in, people from other states fly in to attend this conference. I am now officially one of those people.

It started with a desire to visit Stephanie, who is now living in San Diego--well, Coronado to be more precise. She suggested that I come the weekend of the Huntington Beach LDS midsingles conference. I have learned from years of experience that Stephanie can make anything fun, even these kinds of activities, so I said yes.

The highlights:

The Angels/Braves game on Friday night. The Angels won, and I ran into Rochelle, a former roommate who is now finishing up her law degree at Pepperdine. No pictures of that, sorry, Lisa.
Fish tacos on the beach.
Some pretty good workshops on Saturday morning. It turns out, both Stephanie and I are bathing in masculine energy. No, that's not a good thing.
The beach on Saturday afternoon.
Speed dating. No, seriously.
Seeing this man behind us in line for dinner. Not being a Laker fan (in fact, truthfully, being the opposite of a Laker fan) I had no idea who he was, but Stephanie recognized him and texted me discretely to alert me to his presence.
A pretty decent 80's rock cover band that wore wigs.
I fell on the floor laughing. Now that I think about it, I can't remember the particulars of that one.

The lowlights:

Overhearing comments like the following: "I need to know you are willing to give. No, wait. That was my marriage." Huh?
Dinner at Ruby's on the pier. The food itself was good. What was not good was that, in order to accommodate the entire conference, we had to eat in shifts, and, when we were seated, we were put at a table with six people who were already halfway through their meals, had come together, and were not great at small talk. When I asked the man to my left what he did for a living, he said, "Many things." Maybe I'm a snob, but that didn't seem like something a man in his 40's should be saying.
A two-hour Sacrament meeting on Sunday morning that dissolved into chaos as people prepared to be fed.

I had a great time because, again, I was there with Stephanie, which meant that, at a given time, I could look over at her face and know that she was thinking the same thing I was. Also, we had a lot of downtime to process through some of the awkward encounters of the day.

Sunday after church, Shane came and picked me up so that I could spend the night at his house. Huntington Beach is about an hour from where they live.

By skipping the closing fireside, I got to have dinner with Shane, Maria, Brooklyn, and Elise, who is now doing this:

That's right--she can crawl. And, when she gets going, she's pretty quick. She has to be because she has to keep up with this person:

Not that Brooklyn spends much time crawling. Most of our time was spent singing, dancing, and playing "Rapunzel," which involved her dangling a gold rope from the back of her head while I pretended to climb up.

The next morning we went to Trader Joe's, where I mostly just looked longingly at frozen food I couldn't take home.

Brooklyn, however got a box of ocean animal crackers which she ate in the car.

For lunch, Maria took me for some really good sushi, which is something I don't have very often, having gone from the plains of West Texas to the landlocked state of Utah.

Here is something else I don't get very often:

Look at those cheeks! Man, I miss those girls. I don't get to see them as often as the two other people whose pictures make it onto this blog, but I sure love them.

My life lately

2011-05-16T22:22:00.000-07:00

I officially survived Fall and Winter semesters at BYU!

I am teaching one class during the spring, but it is taking significantly less of my time.

So what have I been up to lately?

Playing at the park...

Making cake pops for Easter...

Visiting the Tulip Festival...

Hanging with two of my favorite kids!

Sammie was showing me her dance costume tonight (I posed her like this),

and I guess Kevin wanted to dress up too.

This is a new swimming suit and shirt he just got.

Then she spent a few minutes showing me her dance routine, while he spent some time showing me how he could climb up three steps and jump to the ground.

Never let it be said that these kids don't appreciate an audience.

Kevin and Sammie

2011-04-09T19:24:00.000-07:00

Last weekend marked a milestone: both Kevin and Sammie spent the night at my house.

I had promised them when I moved to Utah that someday they could spend the night at my house. I expected that two things had to happen for "someday" to occur:

a) Kevin would have to be potty trained.

b) I would have to recover from the last time Sammie spend the night at my house.

Their parents dropped them off on Friday afternoon. Our first order of business was to ride their trike and scooter around my parking lot. This lasted approximately three minutes.

We took a trip to the grocery store, where we bought their dinner of choice: Macaroni and Cheese shaped like Spongebob Squarepants.

Following dinner, we decided to go to McDonald's for ice cream.

I'm not sure why the creepy Hamburglar windsock was hanging from the ceiling, but I couldn't take my eyes off it.

I made the mistake of ordering them each their own ice cream cone, while ordering a McFlurry for myself. It turned out they were more interested in playing at the play place than eating ice cream, and when they did decided they wanted ice cream, they were more interested in my McFlurry than they were in their own cones.

After ice cream, we returned to my house, where they got ready for bed.

I mentioned before that Kevin had to be potty-trained to be allowed to sleep over, which he is, at least in the daytime.

At nighttime, however, he still wears a diaper. His parents had run out of the diapers he normally wore to bed. But, being the resourceful woman that she is, Melanee improvised and found a few Disney Princess Pull-ups from when she was potty-training Sammie. At first, Kevin was reluctant to wear them. Then, Melanee did this:

Not only did it keep him dry, but the three of us laughed about it for five minutes.

The next day, I returned the kids to their parents' house, where I ended up spending most of the rest of the weekend. The Frosts were also there. Here is a shot of the kids with Dane, helping to mix some cupcake batter:

I apologize that Dane is not looking at the camera. It's pretty hard to get three children that young to all look at the camera at the same time.

And this one:

Kevin suddenly got very excited about building a tower on the fridge with his letter magnets.

See if you can spot the word he unintentionally spelled. You would have had to spend the weekend with him to know why it was extra funny.

The Festival of Colors

2011-03-27T18:06:00.000-07:00

Without really saying my job is stressful (because I don't want to be one of those people who blabs indiscreetly about his/her job and coworkers), I think I have conveyed that point. Recently, it has become evident that I need to spend less time working, thinking about work, and/or talking about work. So, when Lisa invited me to take part in the Hare Krishna Temple's Holi Festival of Colors, I said yes. It has become an annual event for her, as well as for many, many other Utah County residents. It was a first for me.

For those of you who don't live in Utah County, I will try to explain this as best I can:

About 15-20 minutes south of Provo, there is a Hare Krishna temple. I have spent some time on Wikipedia, and feel that I can, with a marginal amount of clarity, explain what Hare Krishna is:

It is a religious organization whose core beliefs are based on traditional Hindu scriptures such as the Bhagavad-gita.
It is a monotheistic religion that aims to bring people to the Supreme God, who is Krishna.
Its members can often be seen spreading Krishna-consciousness in public areas.
The festival of Holi symbolizes both the exorcism of the demoness Holika and the love of Krishna and Radha. It is celebrated by the throwing of colors and the burning of the witch.

From these three bullet points, it shares some commonalities with my religio (except for the Bhagavad-gita). I will freely admit that I did not know even this small amount about Hare Krishna prior to attending the Festival of Colors. I will also freely admit that I am confident I was not alone.

So, this is what the festival meant to me, and, in my estimation, 98% of the other people there:

You get to stand in a field in front of the Hare Krishna Temple and throw handfuls of colored powder at one another while chanting "Hare Krishna," over and over again. Hare, by the by, refers to the "energy of God."

The festival took place all day yesterday. They were expecting something like 15,000 people at this event. I realize that the official capacity of Darrell K. Royal Texas Memorial Stadium in Austin is over 100,000, but we are talking about a pretty small, fairly rural town in Utah. Consequently, we had to park a couple of miles away, and walk to the temple. We never found all of the people we were supposed to be going with.

Our first task once we got inside the temple grounds was to buy the colored powder. The powder, which seemed to be something along the lines of rose-scented cornstarch, was sold in individual bags, bags of three, or bags of six. Entrance into the grounds is free, so the temple makes money from selling the colors. There was no discount for buying bags of three or six. The powder stands were under a pavillion, which was so crowded I never actually saw a line, or the people selling the powder until we managed to press our way to the front.

Once we had our colors, we made our way out to the lawn in front of the temple where probably a couple thousand people were gathered, already throwing colors at one another, despite the fact that there is a designated throwing time and you are sort of discouraged from just throwing colors haphazardly at people.

Meanwhile, a band was playing. They had sort of a Christian rock feel to them, but, after examining their website, I'm not sure they would claim Christianity or any other denomination beyond a general spirituality. Following their set, it was announced that, prior to the 3 p.m. throwing, they would "burn the witch."

I am not making this up. The burning of the witch seems to be important to the festival of Holi, but I cannot get over the bizarreness of standing on a hill with thousands of white people in the throes of some sort of Indian Woodstock chanting "Burn the witch!" "Burn the witch!" Images of Monty Python and The Crucible filled my head.

On the heels of the witch-burning, they had the countdown, and, for a good ten seconds, the air was filled with colored powder.

And that was pretty much it.

I have included some of the dos and don'ts of this activity, which, I think, gives a pretty good snapshot of what this day was like:

Dos

Going up to strangers and asking, "May I loving[ly] decorate your face & recolor your hair?"-This one became extremely important to me. I have personal space issues in my regular life, and they extended to this festival, so I did not appreciate random strangers on the street (well before I got to the temple, mind you) throwing colored powder on my face or slapping my back with their powdered hands.
Letting down body surfers gently on their feet. There was an ambulance at the event, which fired up as we were leaving, presumably because someone had failed to heed this rule.

Don'ts

Throwing colors close, hard, & directly into eyes and mouth.
Climbing anything except stairs (means roofs, scaffolding, poles, fences, brass elephants, stage).
Taking off shoes of body surfers & throwing on pavilion roof. (they'll not be taken down til end of the day).
Vending illegally on the property (undermines temple's ability to improve property & events).
Throwing colors on the musicians & their equipment.
Throwing colors on or around the temple building & verandah (it's a color safe zone for those who'd rather observe).

It always worries me when I read a list of rules like this one because it is absolute proof that someone has done these things, and that it doesn't take much for a group of upstanding college/high school students to disintegrate into a group of crazy anarchists.

Here's a shot of Anne, who never broke a single rule during the event, and also kept her sunglasses on during the whole thing, so as to avoid having someone throw powder in her eyes.

At some point in the day, it occurred to me that I am a professional in the community, and it might not be in my best interest to run into one of my students or clients at this event.

I was banking on the fact that they wouldn't recognize me.

What do you think?

*I apologize that these pictures do not do a very good job of depicting things as they actually happened. I have a new phone which is fancy and expensive, and I did not pull it out of its protective bag until after we were safely away from where the colors were being thrown.

Injustice

2011-03-23T22:29:00.000-07:00

I have been paying for cable since I moved to Utah. I have discovered that I don't use it as much as I thought I would, though it did enable me to watch five Harry Potter movies last weekend.

HOWEVER, I keep it for such occasions as college football season and March Madness, when BYU is playing in its most important game since I began cheering for their basketball team. Sadly, I am going to miss it because I have to teach class tomorrow night. While I don't feel good about canceling practicum to watch basketball (my students are either uninterested in basketball or not BYU fans), I would feel okay about pausing to watch some of it on the TV in my office. But the game is being broadcast on TBS, which the university doesn't get.

I think that's called irony, but so many people have misused that term that I'm not sure anymore.

The Kid is Legal Again

2011-03-21T13:39:00.000-07:00

After faxing my clearance from the Court of South Salt Lake to the DMV (twice) and paying a $30 reinstatement fee, I am pleased to announce that I am, once again, a driver in good standing with the State of Utah.

Whew!

My Day in Court

2011-03-11T13:25:00.000-08:00

A few months ago, I posted this. I would like to reiterate my sympathy for judges because I have now been to court. I had to go. There was a warrant out for my arrest.

I like to think of myself as a law-abiding citizen, though, as a recent experience with traffic school showed me, I break about 100 traffic rules a day, and I ought to be grateful for the comparatively few times in my life that I have been caught. But I do think, in general, I am a pretty responsible citizen.

Several months ago, I was in a car accident, which totaled my beloved Corolla. The accident was not my fault, but some semi-shady things seemed to be going on with the person who hit me and her insurance, and that has been a debacle.

The night of the accident, I was issued a citation for what the officer called "insufficient insurance." This meant that, although I had handed him an insurance card, it was expired. Despite my efforts to convince him that the current card was in my car, he issued me a citation, telling me that if I "went to court" I could "get it taken care of."

So, accordingly, I drove to the South Salt Lake between 5 and 14 days after the citation was issued, only to discover that the citation had not yet been posted. The clerk assured me that they would send me a notice to appear in court and, at that time, I could fax in my proof of insurance and all would be forgiven.

I never received that notice.

And, to be quite honest, I sort of forgot about it. My job is hectic, and I was battling with my insurance company and the company of the person who hit me to get myself another car. Plus, I thought the whole thing was bogus anyway, since I had been insured at the time of the accident, and I KNEW they could find that out.

Then, last week, I tried to switch insurance companies. In the process of accessing my driving record, my new insurance agent told me my license had been suspended.

"WHAT?!"

He assured me that it was probably an internal error, and headed off to the DMV for me to find out.

He came back and told me that it was not a mistake, and that I had failed to show up for the court date I didn't know I had.

I called the court, where a nice clerk explained that the last address linked to my drivers' license was my parents' house in West Jordan, which is currently being rented. At the time, I was not living in the house, but put it as my permanent address because I assumed I would always be able to get mail from there. Tee hee.

The clerk immediately set a new court date for me, and I asked her if I could still just fax my proof of insurance and be done with it. But because there was a WARRANT out for my arrest, that would not be possible.

Two days later, I drove illegally to Salt Lake and showed up in court and awaited my turn in front of the judge. Other people around me were handling traffic tickets, suspended driver's licenses, etc. There was one particularly colorful man who was both appearing in an effort to get his license reinstated and also handing out business cards for his "law business." I'm not really sure what it was, as I think I can say with pretty good confidence that this guy had not attended law school. He sauntered up to the front of the room and said, to the very nice female judge, "You're looking very lovely today, Your Honor." How she kept from rolling her eyes is beyond me. He then proceeded to tell her that he thought she should just "throw his case out," and everyone in the room heaved a sigh, including the people who only spoke Spanish.

Though I was instructed to turn my cell phone off before the judge came in, I had to sneakily turn it back on to send an e-mail to my boss to let her know I would not be able to make our 10 a.m. meeting. Fortunately, no one caught me. And I was lucky enough to be done in time to make my 11 a.m. meeting back in Provo.

AND I was lucky that I only had to pay $125 for the processing fee on the warrant that was issued for missing the court date I didn't know I had for the ticket that I should not have received in the first place. My lawyer/roommate/cousin later told me I shouldn't have had to pay anything because I was never served, but I wouldn't have wanted to argue with that judge. For me, an appearance in court was (knock on wood) a once-in-a-lifetime thing. For her, it happens every day.

Get in the game

2011-03-04T15:19:00.000-08:00

Natalie: Two guys have ascended five miles into the sky! They walked up a wall of ice, and are preparing to knock on the door of heaven itself! There's really no end to what we can do! You know what the trick is?

Dan: What?

Natalie: Get in the game.

So, I have decided that the recent rash of posts quoting TV shows are my best attempt at telling the stories of my life through parables. To say too much could get me into trouble at work, but I will say this:

I am continually reminded that there is much about this world that I cannot change. However, there are many things in my life that I can do something about. The trick is to get in the game.

Karaoke Solves Everything

2011-02-14T20:47:00.000-08:00

This is a picture I took in Shibuya, Japan, of the karaoke place that Shane, Maria, and I sang at. You can see his khaki shorts and that little pink bundle in his arms that is Brooklyn on the left.

We had a ward Valentine's Day FHE tonight, and I brought my karaoke machine. Tonight, I finally started to get the appeal. If you think about the life the average Japanese businessman leads, it is pretty confining. Tiny office, tiny house, cramped Metro cars. It's got to grate on you after awhile. It's got to be nice on those days when, with the aid of alcohol, they can kick back and sing their hearts out to a truly terrifying rendition of "Don't Stop Believin'" in the company of likewise inebriated friends. There's something about karaoke that just makes you feel like you are living your childhood dreams of being a rock star, rather than sitting at a cramped desk dealing daily with people you wish you didn't have to see.

And on Valentine's Day, it means a lot of single women singing songs like, "Since U Been Gone," and "I Will Survive." Because when you can sing about it, you WILL survive.

The men seemed much less affected, singing songs like "If I Had a Million Dollars." I think this provides a nice little snapshot into why some of us are still single.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone.

Almost hit by a mattress

2011-02-06T11:28:00.001-08:00

Yesterday, having barely recovered from the raccoon incident the night before, I drove to see my sister and her family. On Pioneer Crossing, which is a flyover connecting west Lehi and Saratoga Springs to I-15, I got behind a Jeep towing a trailer containing a mattress and box springs. It wasn't until the wind picked up and caught these two giant rectangles that I realized that the person driving the Jeep had not anchored them down with ANYTHING. No rope, no bungee cords, not even a massive amount of duct tape. I screamed as they narrowly missed me and wondered how the Jeep owner planned to get them back into the trailer and to their destination without another incident.

I just need to stop going places.

Hit by a raccoon

2011-02-04T23:55:00.000-08:00

Tonight, I was hanging out with some people in my ward for the first time (yes, I have lived here for six months, and this is the first time I have hung out with people in my ward) and we were talking about the wildlife in the area where we live. Then, on my way home, what looked from far away like a plastic bag but was running too fast to be garbage, hit the side of my car (just like on Gilmore Girls). I screamed, flipped a U-turn, and came back to try to find it. It was gone. So, apparently, it was okay.

I still shudder thinking about it.

Magic Beans

2011-01-31T22:10:00.000-08:00

Monica: (About the credit card company on the phone) Look, they just wanna see if you're okay.

Rachel: They wanna know if I'm okay. Well, let's see, the FICA guys took all my money, everyone I know is either getting married, or getting promoted, or getting pregnant, and I'm getting coffee! And it's not even for me! So if that sounds like I'm okay, okay, then you can tell them I'm okay, okay?

Monica: (She pauses. On the phone) Uh, Rachel has left the building, can you call back?

It was one of those days. Luckily, when I turned on my car radio, the Friends theme song was playing, and I realized that, like Rachel, I will be fine.

I've got magic beans.

*I realize drawing comfort from Friends episode is pathetic and heretical, but I take inspiration where I can get it.

In lieu of a Christmas card

2011-01-02T15:49:00.001-08:00

I have never sent out a Christmas card for a couple of reasons:

The first is that I am single, and I often assume that no one wants a Christmas card with just me on it.
The second is that I think it is hard to write a Christmas card without taking yourself too seriously, and opening yourself up to the mocking and ridicule of the people you send it to. A few years ago, my friend Tracy was telling me about how her brother and sister-in-law decided to write a Christmas card in third person (which, often, they are), and have the non-existent third-person narrator talk about all of the things he/she was doing, like bungee jumping, writing a novel, etc. It made for a confusing card for all of their relatives, but it was a good example of a Christmas card that didn't take itself too seriously.
Third, it takes an enormous amount of effort for me to mail anything.

So, I thought I would put up this blog post recapping my year, for anyone who is interested or bored or whatever:

2010 has seen just about everything in my life change. I finished up a 24-year career as a student, only to find myself back at my alma mater working as a professor. To say it's not what I thought it would be is a huge understatement.
I left Texas and moved back to Utah, and now live ten minutes away from my sister and her family. I miss Lubbock more than I ever thought I would. I recognize that the next step in my life required leaving, but I'm surprised at how much it felt like home when I left.
I wrecked my Toyota in November (no one was hurt, but my car looked bad). They totaled my car, which was surprisingly emotional for me, as that car has been with me since I was working on my master's, has made moves to Seattle and Texas and back, and sustained several mysterious dents that I never wanted to talk about. After a lot of unpleasant dealings with insurance companies, I now have a Mazda3. It's pretty and fast, but, mostly, I'n excited that works.
It was a year for finishing things: my dissertation, my Martha Stewart cupcake project, and the Top of Utah Marathon. However, the realization of one's goals is never the end. This next year will find me continuing to bake, trying to run, and attempting to get my dissertation published so that I can keep my job.
As 2011 begins, I am wondering what it will bring, and, more importantly, what I will do with it. The reality of having a grown-up job is setting in, and I am still trying to figure out how that fits with who I am. It seems like a high-class problem to be worried about doing what you love, or what you are supposed to do. I'm pretty sure my pioneer ancestors didn't worry about that.

As with any letter, I hope this one finds all of you safe and well, and that 2011 brings you closer to God, your dreams, and the people you love. I don't do a great job of keeping in touch with people, but know that you are often in my thoughts and prayers.

Megan

Thought for the Day

2010-11-08T19:28:00.000-08:00

From The BIg Bang Theory.

Sheldon: Leonard is upstairs right now with my archenemy...the Dr. Doom to my Mr. Fantastic, the Dr. Octopus to my Spiderman, the Dr. Sivana to my Captain Marvel...You know, it's amazing how many supervillains have advanced degrees. Graduate schools should do a better job of screening those people out.

I can't tell you why I thought it was funny, but I did.

Taking a Break

2010-10-19T11:01:00.000-07:00

I love TV shows that get canceled to soon. Pushing Daisies and Sports Night have to be at the top of that list for me. Sports Night was a little show about sports anchors on a national nightly sports news show, and the production staff around them. It ran for two seasons in the late 90's before it was canceled. In one of my favorite episodes, the two anchors, Dan and Casey, have this little exchange around a moral issue going on with their show:

Casey: Hey, you want to get involved with this?
Dan: I so don’t.
Casey: Didn’t you used to care about these things? And it wasn’t that long ago that you did.
Dan: No.
Casey: I mean, it was like yesterday.
Dan: Right.
Casey: Now, when I say yesterday, I’m not speaking metaphorically. It was yesterday! What happened to your values?
Dan: I find that maintaining them is a lot of work. I take a day off now and then.
Casey: You take a vacation from doing the right thing?
Dan: Yeah. I don’t loot store fronts or anything, but once in a while, when I consider the effort it takes to diligently adhere to a moral compass I take myself out of the line up and I rest for the next game.

There are times, as a therapist, when I feel like that. And, increasingly, there are times as a professor and a supervisor when I feel like that, as well. Doing the right thing takes a lot of work. It does not make you popular. If you are in a position of power over someone, as a parent, a teacher, a therapist, etc., the people in the low power position will question whether or not you are REALLY doing the right thing, which will make you question it yourself. After awhile, that will start to make you crazy. And you will want to go home, curl up on your couch, watch Friday Night Lights (another wonderful underrated show that inexplicably has managed to stay on the air for four seasons) and hide.

But after a few minutes of ranting in a blog, you will take a deep breath, and go back do doing what you are supposed to be doing, which is helping people who don't think they need to be helped with things they think they are already experts on.

This one's for you, parents of small children and teenagers, police officers, CPS workers, elementary school teachers, small claims judges, and junior high assistant principals. Keep doing the right thing.

Tales from September

2010-09-26T21:37:00.000-07:00

I miss blogging, but every time I sit down to write, I am reminded that:

a) I don't have much going on in my life beyond work.

b) If I write about some of the stuff that goes on at work, it might not be appreciated.

c) When I do have things going on besides work, I typically forget to bring my camera.

Here are some of the undocumented moments of my life as of late:

Stephanie came to visit. She spent about four days with me. We ate at this restaurant, and she got me to buy several wardrobe items that are too fashionable for me to have considered by myself. We had one of the most bizarre experiences I have ever had as a therapist, which Stephanie described in her blog. We also saw this group live in their only concert appearance of the year. For guys who are in their mid-thirties, and who, as far as I can tell, had to get regular jobs, they put on a pretty good show.

Following Stephanie's visit, I caught a mild cold, which forced me to take it easy for the rest of the week.

A week ago Saturday, Melanee and I completed the Top of Utah Marathon in Logan. I am not going to lie: there were times I thought I might die before I finished. To make a long story short, I was having some physical issues that were standing in the way of running the way I had trained. Also, we were very close to not having a place to stay the night before, but, thanks to some smooth-talking by my brother-in-law, everything turned out okay.

I just returned this afternoon from a visit to Atlanta, Georgia. While most of the week was devoted to professional development, I did manage to do some cool things:

I spent some time with Tracy, Elliot, and Graham in Decatur. While with them, I visited the Cake Art store that Bakerella loves. I bought a lot of sprinkles. An embarrassing amount, really. Particularly when I add them to my already excessive collection. Something tells me I am going to have to do some more baking in the near future.
I also visited this donut store, which I also found through Bakerella. I got a dozen. I ate many more than I should have.
Tracy and I had burgers at this place, which was featured on Man V. Food. Don't judge it by the skull entrance. The burgers were great!
I had lunch with some colleagues at this place, which rotated around for a panoramic view of Atlanta.

I booked a flight home this morning so that I could catch Sammie in her first Primary program. Before we got too far out of Atlanta, the gentleman next to me pressed the flight attendant call button, and informed the flight attendant that he was feeling very sick. I assumed that meant he was about to throw up on me. The flight attendant asked if something was wrong with his heart, but, by that time, he was unresponsive. I found myself standing up and moving to the first vacant seat I could find to make room for the oxygen tank and the medical doctor who happened to be sitting a few rows in front of me.

Fortunately, the man was okay. Unfortunately, they decided to land in Memphis anyway so that he could deplane. It took us an hour to get back in the air, which put me in Salt Lake too late to make it to Sammie's program. I'm told she did a great job.

Last Lubbock Post

2010-08-31T22:31:00.001-07:00

The week before I left Lubbock was absolutely insane. I probably should have planned better, so as to avoid quitting work, graduating, and moving out of my apartment in the same week. I didn't.

At the same time, there are so many important people that I was saying goodbye to, that I spent a lot of time with them during that week, rather than saying, "Sorry, I have to go pack." Consequently, it was left to my family to help me with some of that stuff.

One thing I couldn't turn down during the last week was the chance to ride around town with Ryan, saying goodbye to all of our favorite Lubbock sites. Or, in some cases, saying hello to them for the first time, and then goodbye.

Our first stop was a park where Ryan assured me I would see prairie dogs. When planning this outing, we discussed going to Prairie Dog Town (a real place), but Ryan, who has actually been to Prairie Dog Town, said I was more likely to see prairie dogs at here.

In sixth grade, I won my school spelling bee and went onto the next round. Prairie was one of the words I missed.

I swear there was a prairie dog right there, but he ran away before I snapped the picture.

Our next stop was the Buddy Holly Museum.

Buddy Holly grew up in Lubbock, TX. So did Mac Davis, who wrote a memorable song with the line, "Happiness is Lubbock, Texas in the rearview mirror," and Natalie Maines, of the Dixie Chicks, who wrote a song called "Lubbock or Leave It." Lubbock has a rich history of birthing singers who go on to write disparaging songs about their hometown.

The only pictures we could get of the Buddy Holly Museum were of the outside. The museum itself consists of two rooms. One room housed a traveling exhibit, which consisted of Buddy Holly's bedroom furniture from his teenage years. It might have seemed more spectacular had I seen it in a year that hadn't included trips to New York, Chicago, Washington D.C., Philadelphia, San Francisco, and about 1,000 LDS Church history sites. It just didn't stack up that well to the giant Seurat.

We had planned to drive to Texas Tech campus next, but Ryan remembered that the radio station managed by our friend Jess was just a few blocks from where we were. A quick phone call later, and we showed up at TrueCountry 105.3 to watch Jess (J.D. as they call him on the radio) perform his D.J. duties.

One of the things I will miss about Lubbock is turning on the radio, hearing Jess's voice, and having the thrill of going, "I know that guy."

We then ventured to Texas Tech Campus, where we got about 100 pictures of various statues around campus, along with some other campus landmarks:

This is a statue of Will Rogers. Legend has it that the rear end of his horse is pointed toward College Station, as it is the home of the Texas A&M Aggies, rivals to Texas Tech. Ryan, ever the engineer, pointed out that it was a very small point from which to derive an angle toward a point 450 miles away.

Here is a shot of the Masked Rider, the TTU mascot.

I have always been a fan of the bizarre benches scattered over campus that are shaped like punctuation.

Or these hands.

We took a short detour to McDonald's to re-hydrate before heading to our final destination:

vvv

The Windmill Museum.

After the Buddy Holly Museum experience, we opted not to pay more money for what we could snap pictures of through the fence.

Across the street was McKenzie Park, where I finally snapped a picture of a prairie dog:

Thanks for a great final tour of Lubbock, Ryan!

* This picture was taken at the party we had the night before graduation. I should probably blog about that. Therefore, this will probably not be my last Lubbock post.

Really Tired

2010-08-26T21:13:00.000-07:00

It occurs to me that if I say too much about my job on the worldwide web, it might not be appreciated. If everyone on Facebook could learn that principle, fewer people would get fired.

This has been my first week functioning as a faculty member. It has meant waking up at 6:30, being on campus by 8:00, and wanting to be in bed by about 7 p.m. but needing to work on things like syllabi and research ideas.

I'm enjoying it a lot, thus far.

However, school doesn't start till Monday.

We'll see how I feel after that.

I'm alive

2010-08-15T20:10:00.000-07:00

It occurred to me that, since I left Lubbock a week ago, I have had zero contact with anyone from Lubbock. This is not intentional. I have also had minimal contact with most of the people I know in Utah, as well as my family in California. Again, not intentional. Here's how my week went:

Sunday: The day after graduation, I left Lubbock at about 7:30 a.m. with my parents and Melanee. We were extremely pleased to make it all the way to Moab (Utah) by nightfall. We were also pleased that we were able to stay in a pretty nice hotel. However, if you are traveling to Moab any time soon, I would advise you to plan ahead, as hotels fill up fast. We had to try several before we found one with vacancies.

Monday: We were out of the hotel by about 8 a.m., and back on the road, which put us in Pleasant Grove, where my new home is, by 11:45 a.m. My brother-in-law showed up with my niece and nephew, who were very excited to see their mom, and, to a lesser extent, pleased to see me and their grandparents. The movers were supposed to come at 1 to unload my truck, but did not show up until about 3:30. However, they worked quickly, and we were able to get to Salt Lake in time to have dinner at Sweet Tomatoes before we had to drop my dad off at the airport.

Moving Tips for today:

It is worth the price to have professional movers get your stuff up three flights of stairs.
I like to throw away things the following things when I leave an apartment and replace them when I get to the new place: toilet brush, shower curtain, garbage can, broom, dustpan. However, replacing them has to be a fairly high priority when I get to a new place.

Tuesday: I spent most of the day unpacking my stuff and deciding some of it should have been left in a dumpster in Lubbock. This included my bed, which had an unfortunate incident on Monday night, and must be replaced now.

Moving Tips for today:

If it is junk, and you know it is junk, you are not doing it any favors by moving it to a new location before throwing it away.

Wednesday: I decided that the best time to start replacing things was before I had to return my rental truck (Thursday morning). So, after dinner, my mom and I raced to IKEA, where I bought two chests of drawers, a futon, and an entertainment center. I am proud to say that, before we returned the truck the next morning, my mom and I were able to get 7 heavy boxes of stuff up three flights of stairs.

Moving tips for today:

see moving tips from Monday.
Have some tools handy for putting together furniture. Essentials include a screwdriver (Phillips and flathead) and a hammer. Allan wrenches are also helpful, but, often, the manufacturer includes them with the hardware.

Thursday: Spent most of the day putting together furniture. Discovered that my entertainment center is too shallow for my TV, which means I must buy a new TV. Sigh.

Moving tip for today:

Decide in advance of purchasing an entertainment center whether or not you are willing to upgrade your TV.

Friday: Sammie spent the night at my house. This was a bold move, and one I do not know if I will be repeating anytime soon. It went something like this:

8:45 p.m.-Sammie's mother leaves with her brother.

9:00 p.m.-Sammie and I are ready for bed. We lay down, and, after less than 30 seconds, she announces that she is not sleepy, and that she is scared of the shadows in the room. I suggest we sleep in the living room.

9:15 p.m.-Sammie announces she still cannot sleep, and I suggest we start a movie, believing that she, like me, will get sleepy watching a children's movie and conk out after about 10 minutes. Sammie informs me that this is exactly what she wanted to do, she just didn't know it until I suggested it. We select Elmo in Grouchland.

9:45 p.m.-Sammie gets scared of something in the movie, presumably Mandy Patinkin as the villain, with obnoxiously bushy eyebrows. She pulls her blanket over her head until the movie is no longer scary. She repeats this several times.

11:00 p.m.-The movie ends and Sammie is still wide awake. However, she is convinced that if she eats something, she will get sleepy. She suggests a bowl of Reese's Puffs she has seen in my pantry.

11:15 p.m.-After eating our cereal and re-brushing our teeth, we get into bed again. Sammie insists that, once again, she is not sleepy. I tell her she does not have to sleep, but she does have to lay still for ten minutes with her eyes closed without talking, and that if she can do that and she is still not sleepy, we will do something else. She agrees.

11:15:15 p.m.-Sammie insists that she cannot lay down or close her eyes, and that the only thing she can do is play. In desperation, I explain to her that I am sleepy, and that I am going to sleep.

11:16 p.m.-Sammie is asleep and snoring softly. Soon, she spreads out on the bed, forcing me into a tiny corner. I eventually migrate to the couch.

Saturday

6:30 a.m.-I show up at Melanee's house for a long run, and explain the story to her. She laughs, calls me a chump, and says she hopes Sammie and I have sleepovers out of our systems for awhile.

Moving tip for today:

If you follow up a sleepless night with your niece with a nine-mile run with her mother, it is perfectly acceptable to postpone all moving activities to take a nap on your niece's mother's couch.

Sunday: We have dinner together as a family, and, before leaving for home, Sammie asks me if she can spend the night. I tell her she has to sleep many more nights at her house before she can spend another one at my house. And Kevin is not allowed to even think about spending the night until he is potty-trained.

Day 18: Kirtland

2010-08-01T19:54:00.000-07:00

Not to be confused with Kirkland, the Costco brand.

This was our last day. In fact, we cut some of the sites short because we had to get to the airport.

Our first stop was the Kirtland Temple. Like many of the prominent sites in my church's history, it is owned by another church, the Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, or the Community of Christ Church (as it is now called).

The Kirtland Temple was the first temple built after the church was restored. It was dedicated in 1836. Shortly after it was dedicated, the members of the church had to leave it behind. At that time, in Ohio, a church could not own vast amounts of property, and the deed was in Joseph Smith's name. When he died, it went to his children, who eventually sold it or gave it to the RLDS church. Despite this, it is still a very important temple, as it was here where Joseph Smith received the keys to be able to do temple work. These keys have been passed down to the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, who continue to hold them today. They wouldn't let us take any pictures inside, so this was the best we could do.

We then drove to the Newel K. Whitney store, which is owned by our church. A delightful old missionary gave us a tour of it, the Whitney home, a saw mill, and an ashery before our tour guide found us and sent us back to the bus.

This is the Whitney home. You can see a man working on the garden in the back.

Newel K. Whitney was the first bishop in Kirtland. He owned this store, which had living quarters where Joseph and Emma lived briefly.

It also had an upper room where people would meet, and where men would come to be taught by Joseph. It was here in this upper room where Joseph received the revelation on the Word of Wisdom, which I tried to picture filled with cigar smoke and tobacco spit.

We then made a brief stop at the John Johnson farm, where we got out long enough to go the the bathroom, walk through the house taking pictures, and get back on the bus. The Smith Family also lived here for a time.

They were living here when Joseph was dragged out of the house in the middle of the night and tarred and feathered. The purpose of the tar was to kill the person. The purpose of the feathers was to mock what the person stood for. Joseph lived. However, they had adopted twins, a girl named Julia Murdock, and a boy named Joseph Smith Murdock. Joseph Smith Murdock died as a result of exposure from that night.

And that concluded our church history tour.

We made it to the airport just in time to get those with earlier flights to their gates before their planes took off. And a few short hours later, we were back in Las Vegas.

Some last thoughts:

It's a long time to be on a bus with the same people.
We think we got bit by bedbugs when we were in New York. Thanks, New York.
It was an incredibly efficient way to see a lot of stuff in a short amount of time.
It was the perfect trip to end my student career.
Some of my favorite moments were just hanging out with my parents, which I could have done for a lot cheaper had we just stayed in Vegas.
It was great to be back in upstate New York.

If you are reading this and you are interested in taking a similar tour, here is a link to the Latter Day Tours website. I would recommend it to anyone.

Day 17: Niagara Falls

2010-07-31T20:05:00.000-07:00

Our last day in New York included a trip to Niagara Falls. Niagara Falls is actually made up of three smaller waterfalls: American Falls, Bridal Veil Falls, and Canadian/Horseshoe Falls. 600,000 gallons go over the Horseshoe Falls every second.

Niagara Falls is technically part of the New York Rochester Mission. At least, the American side is. However, I never saw Niagara Falls on my mission. I'm told, though, that the Canadian side is better.

It was a short trip. We crossed the Canadian border, where we presented our passports.

Then, we boarded the Maid of the Mist, which is a boat that takes a short trip toward the falls, close enough to get all of the people on the boat wet, and then comes back.

We got these nifty rain ponchos to put over our clothes to keep us dry:

They didn't always help.

We made a brief stop at a souvenir shop where I bought a Toronto Maple Leafs' shirt.

I didn't buy many souvenirs on this trip. However, I did make an effort to get a t-shirt in every city we visited that had an NHL team.

I bought a New York Rangers' shirt, a Pittsburg Penguins' shirt (it looks like Sidney Crosby's jersey), and a Philadelphia Flyers' shirt.

Another tidbit that no one will find interesting is that I have managed to collect t-shirts from four of the Original Six NHL teams (Chicago Blackhawks, Detroit Redwings, Toronto Maple Leafs, and New York Rangers). At some point, I am sure I will get one from Boston. I have trouble imagining any reason that I will ever been in Montreal.

We ended up back in Ohio, where we had a giant chef's salad and a fruit salad for dinner. Tomorrow we will be visiting Kirtland.

Day 16: Palmyra

2010-07-30T13:11:00.000-07:00

Our morning started early. We had to get to the Sacred Grove before the other tour buses.

Our tour has been almost completely in reverse order from how things happened chronologically. The Sacred Grove is where it all started. It was here that Joseph Smith, confused about religion, first went to pray.

It was here that he was visited by God and Jesus Christ and told to join none of the existing churches.

It's a pretty amazing place to stand in. I've been many times before, but this was the first time for my parents, so we split off for a little while.

Also on this property is the home where Joseph's family was living at the time. It is a replica of the one that the Smith's lived in, built on the original foundation.

It was in this house that Joseph Smith was visited by Moroni, an angel, and the last person to write in the Book of Mormon, about 1400 years before his visitation to Joseph. This happened a few years after the he was first visited by God and Jesus.

He told Joseph about the record of the people in America, his people. He told Joseph where to find it, in a hill nearby.

This hill, the Hill Cumorah, was our next stop.

But first, we stopped by the Palmyra Temple, which is within walking distance of the Smith Farm. It was built in 2000.

Here's the spire:

The angel on the top is the same angel who visited Joseph Smith, Moroni.

We headed to the Hill Cumorah next. We would be back there later that night for the pageant, so we just stopped long enough to look at the monument on the top of the hill.

That is also Moroni.

Our next stop was the building where the Book of Mormon was published. For reasons I can't explain, I do not have any pictures of this.

We went back to our hotel for the afternoon. The pageant did not start until about 9, so we had several hours to kill.

One of the things that I love about my dad is that he is adventurous. He is always willing to explore, and ready for any suggestion.

When I lived in New York, I fell in love with Perry's Ice Cream, particularly a flavor they have called Piece of Cake. In the last few years, everyone from Dreyer's to Cold Stone has come out with a cake batter flavored ice cream, but this was the first I'd ever had, and, in my opinion, still the best. The ice cream is yellow cake flavored. It has a ribbon of chocolate frosting running through it, and little pieces of pound cake. I have yet to find anything like it anywhere else.

Luckily, there was a Wegman's nearby. Wegman's is another thing I miss about New York. It is a chain of grocery stores in New York and Pennsylvania. The flagship store was in one of my areas, a place called Pittsford, NY, and included not only several restaurants, but also a section for furniture and dishes. I have included this link to a Wikipedia article about Wegman's. The one near our hotel was not as nice as the one in Pittsford, but it did have the ice cream, as well as sponge candy, another upstate New York delicacy.

My dad and I decided to have lunch before loading up our cooler with ice and packing a half-gallon of ice cream in it. Across the street was a Tom Wahls. Tom Wahls was a popular place for the missionaries to eat. It features some pretty good hamburgers. However, my dad and I decided to have, instead, the 55 Junker Plate.

The Junker Plate is actually a knockoff of another dish from another restaurant called Nick Tahou's. They are famous for something called a garbage plate. Here is the Wikipedia description of a garbage plate (if you get queasy easily, you may want to skip this part):

A Garbage Plate is a combination of one selection of cheeseburger, hamburger, red hots, white hots, Italian sausage, chicken tender, fish, fried ham, grilled cheese, or eggs; and two sides of either home fries, French fries, baked beans, or macaroni salad. On top of that are the options of mustard and onions, ketchup, and Nick's proprietary hot sauce, a greasy sauce with spices and ground beef. It's served with rolls or Italian toast on the side, which is made fresh at the bakery next door. Health.com named the Garbage Plate the fattiest food in the state of New York.

There are many variations on this at various restaurants in upstate New York. I never had one as a missionary because my first companion and the name of the dish itself led me to believe that they were gross. However, I thought being at Tom Wahl's with my dad was as good a time as any to try one, so we split it. We had ours with fries, macaroni salad, and white hots (bratwurst). It was covered with hot sauce, which was similar to chili, mustard, and onions.

After lunch, we went back to Wegman's and bought the ice cream, a few other New York foods, and a giant bag of ice, which we put into the cooler we had brought, and headed back to our hotel.

The ice cream was soft, but not melted when we got back, so between Dad, Mom, and I, we managed to eat a good portion of the half-gallon of Piece of Cake before it melted.

Around 8, we headed back to Palmyra for the pageant.

The Hill Cumorah Pageant was started in the 1920's by a group of missionaries in the area. It used to be held on the Joseph Smith farm, but it was moved to the Hill Cumorah in 1934. People from all over the world apply to be in the Hill Cumorah pageant. They come for three weeks, during which time they learn their parts, perform, and do volunteer work in the surrounding community.

As you can see, the pageant actually takes place on the hill. If you look closely, you can see the Moroni statue through the trees on the left.

The pageant itself displays scenes from the Book of Mormon, from the time the prophet Lehi left Jerusalem with his family, through the time Jesus Christ appeared to the people in America after his resurrection, and finishes with Moroni burying the record in the Hill Cumorah, and then appearing to Joseph Smith to tell him where it is.

Here is a man in costume, who was playing one of the Wise Men in the scene where one of the prophets, Nephi, prophesies of the birth of the Savior. The cast members mill around with the people in the audience until right before the pageant starts, talking to people and sharing their testimonies.

We also ran into an elder from my parents' ward in Salt Lake, Garrett, who is a friend of my brother Danny. He is serving his mission in my mission, though he is teaching people in American Sign Language.

It's a pretty spectacular production.

Please note the large man who sat in front of me two minutes before the pageant started. He didn't block my view much, but I couldn't seem to take any pictures without him in them.

Day 15: Susquehanna River, Peter Whitmer Farm

2010-07-28T12:51:00.000-07:00

The four days preceding were spent at various sites related to American History, or American pop culture. This day marked a return to LDS Church history sites.

The first site we visited was the Susquehanna River. While Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery were translating the Book of Mormon, they came across passages about baptism. They prayed to know more about baptism in the church of Jesus Christ, and they were visited by the resurrected John the Baptist, who gave them the Aaronic Priesthood, or the power to baptize. This happened here, at this river.

Here is a picture of the men in our tour group singing "Called to Serve":

At some point as men age, they lose the ability to carry a tune. Unfortunately, this seems to have happened to some of the men in our group.

We made a brief stop in Harmony, Pennsylvania. It is here where Joseph Smith met his wife, Emma. After they married, they lived here for a short while.Their first child, whose name was either Alvin or Alva, was born here and died shortly thereafter.

We then headed up through the southern tier of New York state toward Fayette, where the Peter Whitmer farm is. The Whitmer family were friends of Oliver Cowdery, who was helping Joseph Smith translate the Book of Mormon. When they began to have trouble in Harmony, they relocated to Fayette, and stayed with the Whitmers, where they finished the Book of Mormon translation.

On April 6, 1830, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (then called the Church of Christ) was organized in the Whitmers' tiny home:

This is a recreation of what it looked like. It is in the same spot.

Fayette, New York, is also the last place I lived as a missionary, over six years ago.

This was the house where I lived with three other sisters, and a senior missionary couple. It is across the street from the Whitmer home.

Additionally, the Fayette ward meets in a building on the same property:

In many ways, it was like coming home.

Day 14: New York City

2010-07-27T12:02:00.000-07:00

When I went on my mission to Rochester, NY, I never anticipated how many people would ask me how I liked New York City.

The truth was, I had never been to New York City. It was outside my mission boundaries (by several hours). It wasn't until this trip that I actually had the opportunity to see it.

The ridiculous thing about it was that we only spent a day there, part of which was taken up by a Broadway play.

For this reason, most of what we saw was from the inside of the bus.

Like Ground Zero:

Trump Tower:

And Radio City Music Hall:

We did take the Staten Island Ferry

to see the Statue of Liberty.

We stopped in Chinatown to do some shopping. We also stopped at a street vendor to get authentic New York City hot dogs:

And we got off the bus briefly, just to walk through a small corner of Central Park with a tribute to John Lennon:

When we stepped off the bus, I snapped a picture of this man:

Who I am pretty sure is this man:

Who is this man? His name is Noah Emmerich. I know him from Frequency, The Truman Show, and Miracle. He played the second banana in all of them.

I was so distracted by this celebrity sighting that I stepped in dog poop. I got it pretty well cleaned off my shoe before heading back on the bus.

Eventually, we headed to Times Square, where we killed some time before the Broadway show we were going to see.

We saw this:

Found ourselves on the Times Square camera (we're by the top of the 2):

Had a cupcake (even though, according to Jack Donaghy, people in New York are off cupcakes and back on doughnuts):

And had dinner and fabulous cheesecake at Junior's before heading here:

The sign is a little hard to see in this picture, so here's a better one:

Seeing a musical on Broadway is pretty high on my bucket list. I am a huge fan of musicals, whether they be new shows or old classics like The Sound of Music or Oklahoma. Add to that getting the opportunity to see Kristin Chenoweth (the original Glinda in Wicked) perform, and have the opportunity to see a cast originate a production, and you can imagine how excited I was.

Immediately after I snapped this picture of the theater, I was chastised by an usher. Note that the show has not started yet, and that the seats aren't even close to being filled yet. A look at reviews from regular Broadway-goers leads me to believe that this is how the ushers there are.

The musical was fabulous. This production was a revival, and it had the look of the 60's era for which it was originally written. It looked like Mad Men. The songs were written by Burt Bacharach and Hal David, the book was written by Neil Simon, and this production included popular songs like "I Say a Little Prayer" and "I'll Never Fall in Love Again." I couldn't get over the fact that I was actually watching Kristin Chenoweth. And while I wouldn't say that Sean Hayes (of Will and Grace) was much of an initial draw, he did a pretty good job with his part.

The only bad part of the whole day was that our show got out late, and we had to leave before the curtain call was over in order to make it back to our bus on time.

Day 13: Baltimore and Philadelphia

2010-07-26T11:27:00.000-07:00

I love that, on the east coast, everything is pretty close to everything else. We were headed to New York City from Washington, D.C., but, on the way, we were able to see some pretty amazing sites:

Baltimore, home of the Ravens and the Orioles, and the setting for one of my favorite movie/musical/movie musicals, Hairspray.

Fort McHenry, where Francis Scott Key wrote "The Star-Spangled Banner":

Independence Hall, the site of the signing of both the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution:

The Liberty Bell:

And the Philadelphia Museum of Art, which has the steps Rocky Balboa famously ran up in the first Rocky movie.

It's hard to say what I was most excited about.

We got a cheesesteak, too, which could have easily been the highlight of the trip.

We got to our hotel in New Jersey that night, had a late supper, and were joined by my dad, who flew in from Las Vegas for the last few days of our tour.

Day 12: The Smithsonians

2010-07-25T08:24:00.001-07:00

Our day picked up where we left off the day before: back at the monuments.

We made a stop by Iwo Jima, which I had never seen before. To give you an idea of how giant the monument is, I have included this picture of it next to some average-sized people:

As you can see, it is massive. Also, there is a hand on the flag pole that does not belong to any of the other soldiers, which, they say, represents the hand of God.

We made a stop at the World War II monument, which I already went into a lengthy diatribe about when I was in D.C. about a year ago, so I'll spare you.

We were given the rest of the day to explore the Smithsonian Museums. Our first stop was the Holocaust Museum, which I had never been to before, but which my friend Kim recommended highly. One of the reasons that I had never been there before was that one of the times when I was in D.C., a security guard at the museum had just been shot, and they had closed it down.

It was the only museum we went to all day where we had to have tickets to enter. They give you different entrance times to keep people from all showing up at the same time, which is very important because you take an elevator to the top floor and wind your way down. The floors go in chronological order, as you learn how Hitler's political rise affected Jews, how they were exiled, imprisoned, and eventually exterminated. The final floor deals with their release, and the people who hid people during the war.

To say the least, it is intense. We were not allowed to take pictures in the main exhibit, which was probably for the best, as the images of cells, the dioramas of the gas chambers, and hundreds of shoes left behind by people who were killed were haunting. But I am glad we went, and I would encourage anyone else who has some time to visit the Smithsonians to make it a priority.

We had spent over 2 hours in the museum, and, by the time we left, we were hungry. We stopped by a pretzel vendor whose prices were suspiciously absent from her cart. For two bottles of soda and a pretzel, she charged us $10. We didn't care. It was enough to keep us going through two more museums.

Our next stop was the American History Museum. Below is a picture of Archie Bunker's chair from the TV show All in the Family. I have never been a fan of the show. It was off the air before I was born. However, there is a reference to the chair itself in an episode of Gilmore Girls, making it picture-worthy.

One stop we had to make in this museum was here:

Those of you who have seen the movie Julie and Julia will remember that Julia Child's kitchen was donated to the Smithsonian when she left her home in Cambridge, Mass, a few years before she died. It's quite a sight. It is covered in glass, which made it hard to get a good picture. There are displays along one wall of the exhibit of the kitchen gadgets she used. They are pretty incredible.

The most popular exhibit that we saw was the one that housed all the First Ladies' inaugural ball gowns. For some reason, I don't have any pictures of those.

This particular museum also housed the flag which inspired "The Star-Spangled Banner." While we were there, they were unfurling it on the floor below:

Pretty cool, huh?

We also made a brief stop at the Museum of Natural History.

This made me think of Ross Gellar. It is clear that I probably spend too much time watching TV.

We had dinner that night at IHOP, having learned our lesson the day before about getting too adventurous trying local places.

Three new posts!

2010-07-23T19:13:00.000-07:00

Sorry it has taken me until after my trip ended to post about the second half. More will follow as I pack up my stuff and wrap up my life here in Lubbock.

Day 11: Washington D.C.

2010-07-14T17:34:00.001-07:00

I love Washington D.C.

The day started out at Arlington Cemetery. Did you know Arlington Cemetery was once the property of Robert E. Lee's family? The Lee mansion is still on the property. It was conceived as a punishment for Robert E. Lee for not commanding the Union Army, and, instead, commanding the Confederate Army during the Civil War.

We got on a tram at the visitors' center, and it stopped at the first site, which was the graves of John F. Kennedy, Robert Kennedy, and Ted Kennedy. It was stopping at the last grave that prevented us from catching our tram to the next location, the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. I convinced my mom that it would be quicker for us to walk to it than to wait for the tram (which it was).

We got there just in time to watch the changing of the guard, which happens every half hour in the summertime. Here is a picture of the monument. Apparently, I did not get any pictures of the changing of the guard. I did get video, at the insistence of my mom. I'm pretty sure no one is going to want to watch it.

We narrowly missed another tram, which, as it turns out, was headed to Robert E. Lee's house. We did not make it there on foot. Instead, we saw these:

After that, we drove around and saw the White House:

The Capitol Building:

And Ford's Theater.

Then we got back on the bus and went back to our hotel room in Alexandria. We decided to venture into Old Town for lunch, after hopping a shuttle and the Metro. We were pretty proud of ourselves when we stepped off the Metro at King Street.

After lunch, we took a cab back to our hotel, where I narrowly avoided what is hopefully the last crisis of my academic career. However, once it was resolved, I didn't think too much about it, since we still had a lot of our day left.

We had a large break during the day, so we also had dinner at the worst Chinese buffet on the planet.

There were several handwritten signs posted behind the counter in both English and Spanish which conveyed the following guidelines:

No checks or American Express cards.

Do not even THINK about wasting food because you will be charged for it.

Do NOT sit in the dining room if you are not eating dinner.

I took small portions of everything, which was smart because everything was bad. Even the desserts were bad. Maybe they wouldn't have these problems with people wasting food or not eating dinner if the food were better.

In the evening, we went back to look at the various monuments around the Mall.

Here are some of the ones we saw that I had never seen before:

Jefferson

The Korean War

This picture doesn't show it, but it's pretty eerie at night.

Franklin Roosevelt

Does anyone know the name of FDR's beloved pet dog? It was a question we were given before we got off the bus.

It was night, and it began to get dark, so we didn't notice the ominous clouds gathering overhead until we were headed back to the bus to make our way over to the World War II monument.

When we got to the place where we were supposed to meet the bus, it began dumping rain on us. We stood under the overhang of one of those information booths for about ten minutes before the bus showed up. They had just gotten a ticket somewhere along the way.

All in all, it was quite a day. I saw more of Washington D.C. in one day than I have in all my other trips combined.

Day 10: Gettysburg

2010-07-11T17:56:00.000-07:00

We got up early this morning to head to Gettysburg. I had never been to Gettysburg before, so it was kind of exciting to get to see it.

Our little tour group descended on Gettysburg at the exact same time as a large group of bikers. What I did not take a picture of was the booth selling Gettysburg-themed motorcycle clothing.

The town of Gettysburg is small, and quite a tourist town. Pictured below is a motel around the border of which is the Gettysburg Address, which I tried to memorize during the trip. I'm pretty close.

I took lots of pictures at Gettysburg, mostly for my dad, who is a big Civil War buff. However, I can't remember much about any of the

This is the Eternal Light Peace Memorial on Oak Hill.

Here is a shot of me in front of one of the cannons at Big Round Top.

Here are some of the graves at Gettysburg.

After Gettysburg, we headed to the Washington D.C. Temple. It was built in 1974. As you can see, it has an awesome reflecting pool near the visitors' center.

Of the 133 temples that are in operation, Washington D.C. is number 16, chronologically. For many years, it was the only temple east of the Mississippi.

The day finished in our hotel room in Alexandria, which, I have to say, is easily the worst place I have stayed in all my trips to D.C. I finally got out my pants with the orange juice on them from Tuesday. They smelled like yeast and feet. They are now soaking in the bathtub, and I am less than optimistic about whether or not I will be able to get the stains out. My mom has graciously offered to help.

Day 8 & 9: The Bus

2010-07-09T21:31:00.000-07:00

We spent the entire day on the bus.

I have no pictures.

This is okay, as I have not been able to upload any pictures to Blogger for several days now.

However, I thought this would be a good opportunity to explain who is on this bus.

First, there is Ginger, the owner of the tour company, and our tour guide. She has been doing adult and teenage tours through the church history sites for 20+ years with her husband Larry, who drove the bus. A few months ago, Larry died, and this is the first year she has done the tours without him.

Traveling with her is her cousin, her son and his wife, and her brother, Randy, who drives the bus now, along with his wife Kandy, and their son, whose mission call was mailed to his house this week. His uncle is sending it on so that he will be able to open it on this trip.

The rest of the people on our tour bus are mostly older, retired couples. There are some older ladies who are traveling with their sisters, and a few women with their sons. And we just picked up another mother/daughter team on Friday.

The PA system in the bus went out on Day 8, as did the TVs, right in the middle of the movie Fireproof.

We have passed the time in other ways.

To begin with, everyone on the bus had to introduce him/herself. This included a brief life history (some people gave a briefer history than others), a list of everyone's family lines (to see if any of us were related) and a recounting of our most embarrassing moments. Here was my mom's:

Many years ago, my mother began carrying pepper spray around with her on her keychain. I’m not sure why. I don’t think she was ever worried about being attacked. One day, while she was having her hair done, the spray went off in her pocket. She excused herself to go to the ladies’ room and clean it up. When she went back into the salon, people were coughing, eyes were watering, and the salon was being evacuated. Someone shouted, “It’s pepper spray!” and our hairdresser’s husband used it as an amusing anecdote for several weeks afterward.

Because the PA system had gone out, I didn't tell the one I had in mind:

About a year ago, Stephanie and I went to get pedicures. It was sort of a spur-of-the-moment thing, so I wasn’t wearing open-toed shoes. They gave me some disposable flip-flops to wear when the pedicure was done. I had to take my computer into the repair shop afterward. En route, one of the flip flops broke. My nails were still slightly wet, so I looked in my backseat and unearthed one regular flip flop. Unfortunately, it was for the wrong foot. Also, it had a huge thick sole. So I limped into Best Buy wearing one thick-soled flip flop on my right foot and a right footed disposable flip flop on my left foot. The guy at the service desk was laughing before I even reached him. Before he would help me, he said, “Do you want to tell me why you are wearing two different shoes?”

Instead, I told this one:

When I was a flag girl, I knocked a guy’s tooth out during an out-of-state competition. It ended my short career in the colorguard, and I became a therapist instead.

It was quicker.

It’s interesting to be on the bus and meet people who are storytellers. My favorite story thus far was told by a man who claimed he was “kicked out of kindergarten twice.” Both incidents involved his cousin, who was also in his class. As he explained it, they were conducting “scientific experiments.” His cousin had tried to convince him that girls have bigger bums than boys, so they sat in the back of the classroom and lifted up girls skirts with a ruler to investigate. After about five or six girls, he began to believe his cousin was right. Subsequently, they were moved to different classrooms.

We also spent some time recalling trivia from old movies/TV shows. The entire bus also sang theme songs from The Brady Bunch, Gilligan’s Island, and Green Acres. I have also discovered that, as much as she likes to downplay her abilities, my mom has a pretty good memory for trivia.

Hopefully, I will be able to upload pictures soon. I have a feeling the next posts will not be as good without pictures.

Day 7: Nauvoo

2010-07-08T21:33:00.000-07:00

I am having trouble uploading pictures from the first day at Nauvoo. I wrote a whole post to go along with them, so I will hold off posting and just post the pictures from our second day at Nauvoo. It was packed.

We started out the morning early, at 6:45. We went to the Nauvoo Temple for the 8:00 session.

The Nauvoo Temple was originally finished in 1846, just before the members of the church left for the Salt Lake Valley. It was eventually destroyed. In 2002, it was rebuilt and rededicated in exactly the same place, almost exactly as it was originally.

Here we are in front of it.

And here's a shot of the temple with a water tower behind it. Just like the one in Lubbock.

After we changed, we headed back to Old Nauvoo, where we walked along the Trail of Hope, which was the street where the church members lined up to begin the journey west, all the while having a pretty good view of everything they were leaving behind. Along the trail are quotes from the people who left, things they wrote in their diaries.

Also along the trail is a spot where you can see oxen.

An ox is not a specific breed of cow. Rather, it is any animal bred to pull cargo. I didn't ask if that mean a chicken could be an ox. But I wondered.

Here I am next to an ox. The pair that were pulling people in a wagon were named Hank and Homer. I am embarrassed to say that my mom and I rode on the wagon in a tiny circle around the yard.

Here is a shot of oxen under a baptismal font. The imagery and symbolism makes a lot more sense to me now.

When we were done there, we had lunch on the main street in Nauvoo. Mom and I loved the place where we ate, which reminded her of Grandpa Hopkin's Cafe in Morgan.

After lunch, we headed to the Nauvoo Cemetery, where I called Grandma Pete to see if we had any relatives who lived in Nauvoo. As it turned out, we did.

Our next stop was the Land and Records Office, where we were able to look up some of Grandma's relatives who actually lived in Nauvoo. They let us burn their records on a CD to take home.

We also made a quick stop at Lucy Mack Smith's house and Brigham Young's house.

Amazingly, we also made it to Warsaw and Carthage Jail before dinner. I have more to say about Carthage, but I will have to save that for a time when I can upload my pictures.

Eventually, we got back to the bus and headed for dinner at a steakhouse. Then we got back on the bus and headed back to Old Nauvoo for the pageant.

During this trip, we will see two pageants: Nauvoo and the Hill Cumorah Pageant. They are vastly different. Nauvoo involves singing and dancing, and the memorization of lots of lines. The Hill Cumorah Pageant is narrated by a recording, and the actors get a week to learn everything they need to know. The Nauvoo pageant is performed on a stage, while the Hill Cumorah Pageant is performed on the hill itself. The Nauvoo pageant is stunning and well-performed, but it is not as big as the Hill Cumorah Pageant, or as widely attended, from what I could tell. But we loved it. The focus of the pageant is life in Nauvoo, and finishes with the completion of the Nauvoo Temple, which was lit up at the end of the play. Beautiful.

Blogger is not letting me upload any new pictures, so this will have to do for now.

By the time we got back to our hotel room that night, it was 11:00. It was a long day, but a great one.

Day 6: Nauvoo

2010-07-07T20:43:00.000-07:00

Our day started out without any orange juice mishaps. We bought milk at Wal-Mart the night before, so we had that with two cinnamon rolls for breakfast.

We drove to Nauvoo in the morning and stayed there all day. First, we saw the buildings owned by the RLDS Church, which includes the home Joseph and Emma Smith lived in when they first moved to Nauvoo,

the Mansion House, which they built later,

and the Nauvoo House, which was built as a hotel, but in which Emma lived after Joseph died.

We also saw the graves of Joseph, Emma, and his brother, Hyrum Smith.

Our tour guide was named Kevin. Thus far, he has been the best tour guide we have had. He has been working as a tour guide for four years, and he was very knowledgeable and very smooth.

We also saw the Red Brick Store, which Joseph ran for a few months, until he began to lose large amounts of money due to his tendency to give away his inventory when people couldn't pay. While someone else took over the store portion of the building, the upstairs was used for church meetings, and as an office where Joseph worked. It is the site where the Relief Society was organized.

In Nauvoo, much of what you see is a reconstruction of the buildings that were originally there. However, some of them have remained largely intact over the years.

After the tour finished, we went to the LDS Visitors' Center where we watched the Joseph Smith movie that was made a few years ago. We ventured out into the garden, where the Women's Monuments are. There are several statues depicting women in various roles. My mom made me pose next to this one:

If I were not such a good daughter, I would have had her pose next to this one:

After that, we had lunch in town (the part of town that is not historical sites). There were only a handful of places to choose from, so Mom and I opted to get pulled pork sandwiches from the local grocery store, which we ate on a bench outside.

After lunch, we headed back to Old Nauvoo, to the buildings the LDS Church owns. That's when it sort of becomes a blur.

We first toured the John Browning home. For those of you who hunt and fish, this is gun/fishing pole maker. I didn't realize he was one of the early members of the LDS Church, but he was.

We also toured the John Taylor home, the general store/post office, the tinsmith, Wilford Woodruff's home, and the brickyard. In between, we would get back on the bus so that we could rest in a cool place.

For dinner, we found this little restaurant on the main street in town that sold sandwiches and sub-zero ice cream. We each got a Porter Rockwell, which is turkey, ham, and three kinds of cheese, drizzled with barbecue sauce and grilled in a panini press.

After dinner, we located the store in town that sold fudge. If you think we were able to go in without buying anything, you obviously don't know me or my mom that well.

We headed back to Old Nauvoo one last time to watch a production called "Rendezvous in Old Nauvoo," which was a short play about the LDS Church in Nauvoo prior to, and immediately following the death of Joseph Smith. What made this play terrific was

a) It only lasted an hour.

b) All of the actors were the same senior missionary couples who had led the tours earlier that day.

Let me pause to say that, seeing all of the senior missionary couples throughout the day reminded me of the dream I once had to spend a week in Nauvoo and a week in Palmyra studying the relationship dynamics of LDS senior missionary couples as a follow-up to my thesis. Sigh. Maybe some day.

Anyway, I was pretty impressed by the singing, dancing, and acting ability of the senior couples. I don't think any of them were ever on Broadway, but they were all at least as good as the actors in the LDS Beauty and the Beast movie we watched on the bus the day before.

Here is a picture of one of the couples whose storyline provided comic relief. Sorry it's so bad.

My favorite part of the play was when the elder who was playing him broke down and started laughing. It was reminiscent of that Chris Farley SNL sketch where he is playing Matt Foley, and David Spade has to cover his face because he is laughing. Except that it wasn't on national television. Their entire audience was only about 50 people.

The night ended with another trip to Wal-Mart. When traveling with my parents, it is always good to be in close proximity of places where you can get junk food and comfortable clothing.

Day 5: Far West and Adam-Ondi-Ahman

2010-07-06T18:08:00.000-07:00

Here's how my morning started:

I took a shower, did my best to straighten my hair, despite the Missouri humidity, and dressed in a navy blue shirt and a pair of white pants.
Mom was still getting herself together, so I offered to get breakfast from the breakfast bar and bring it back to her. She was appreciative.
I dropped off my suitcase in front of the hotel, where it was loaded on our tour bus.
I went to the breakfast bar and brought back the following items: two bagels, a Belgian waffle, an omlette, two pieces of bacon, and two cups of orange juice.
I offered Mom first choice of breakfast foods, and watched her set a cup of juice on the ironing board.
Mom pulled her suitcase out to take it to the bus.
The suitcase wheel caught on the ironing board.
I lunged for the orange juice to keep it from tipping over and spilling on the floor.
The orange juice spilled all down the front of my white pants.
I thought of my dad.
I walked, bow-legged, out to the bus where people were beginning to board, retrieved another pair of pants, and returned to the room, where Mom offered me half a Belgian waffle. I remarked that, in addition to being cold, wet, and sticky, orange juice resembles urine.
Mom offered to wash out my white pants by hand.

Mornings on this tour start out with "Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin'" from Oklahoma. As a group, we are getting pretty good at it already.

Our first stop was the Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This is a church that split off from ours after the death of Joseph Smith. Since that time, the line of prophets have been direct descendants of Joseph Smith. However, other than a common history, it does not share many resemblances with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints today. The place we went in is called a temple.

It promotes peace, and, as far as I can tell, diversity. I snapped this picture because I found it amusing, and mildly offensive:

They are really into Japanese stuff there, as evidenced by the Japanese couple, the Japanese rock garden, and the Japanese architect who designed the temple.

Here is a shot of the inside of the temple:

It is modeled after a nautilus shell.

I never got a clear answer on what this room is used for in terms of meetings, but this man came in as we were leaving and began a rousing organ solo.

When we got back on the bus, we did a drive by of the Harry S. Truman home.

Our next stop was the Far West temple site.

Here is one of the cornerstones that was laid by the Twelve Apostles before members of the church were driven out of Missouri by angry mobs and an extermination order. There is no temple there. Yet.

Look at how green everything there is!

Our next stop was Adam-Ondi-Ahman, which means "the place of God where Adam dwelt." It is believed to be the place where Adam and Eve went when they were cast out of the Garden of Eden.

The valley below is the future site of a gathering of 144,000 priesthood holders where Christ will appear.

Our last stop of the day was to Jamesport, Missouri, which is a community that has Amish, Mennonites, and others living in it. We ate at an Amish restaurant, shopped at a candle store, and, I am ashamed to say, bought five pieces of pie, four cinnamon rolls, and two cookies.

Here is a shot of an Amish man we passed on our way out of town. It reminded me of my mission, which had many Mennonite communities in it. It was always kind of a bummer to tract up and down streets where horses had just been. Look closely at this picture and you can probably guess why.

That's all for today. I have a pair of pants I need to wash out tonight.

Day 4: Independence and Liberty

2010-07-05T21:26:00.000-07:00

Well, we made it.

I will admit, it was tense for a few minutes.

But my mom and I successfully got from Las Vegas to Kansas City, Missouri in one piece. Our luggage got there, too, and we managed to find our tour group.

We had a quick lunch at Panera and, to no one's surprise, were the last people on the bus headed to Independence. We hit the ground running on our first day in Missouri. Here is a sampling of what we saw.

In a small area in Independence, there is the Church of Christ Headquarters (Hedrickite Church) the Community of Christ Headquarters (the Reorganized Latter-day Saints) and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints visitors' center (the Mormons).

Our first stop was at the Church of Christ.

This is where the temple site for the Independence Temple, which was never built, was designated. It is owned by the Hedrikite Church, or the Church of Christ, as they are formally called. This is not to be confused with the Church of Christ that is all over in west Texas. But it is definitely confusing.

The Hedrikite Church split off from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints when the original church changed its name and added the "Latter-day Saints" part. The man who gave us a tour was an apostle in the church, called the Church of Christ, officially.

This is what the RLDS Temple looks like. They were closed when we went there the first time, so we had to go back the next day. More pictures to follow.

Our last stop was Liberty Jail. It's a pretty great name for a jail. This is where the Prophet Joseph Smith and four other men were imprisoned for 4 1/2 months.

Here is a picture of the rebuilt Liberty Jail. As you can see, there are mannequins representing the five men in the jail. The mannequin standing up is Hyrum Smith. His head touches the ceiling. I'm sure they put the mannequins in there so people get a sense of how small it was, but it made the experience feel a little like Disneyland.

We came home that night and I submitted my dissertation. Thank goodness for hotel rooms with Internet.

Day 2: Las Vegas

2010-07-05T20:57:00.000-07:00

I was awakened about 6 a.m. Saturday morning by the tiny voice of my tiny niece Brooklyn, who wanted to go outside and play with the garden hose. For about an hour, Brooklyn, her mom, my dad, and I all sat outside while she watered the concrete, the bushes, and our feet.

Later, we went bowling. Brooklyn, with the aid of one of those ramps and some bumpers, beat both Maria and I.

After napping, we all headed over to this amazing sale at the Banana Republic outlet store in downtown Las Vegas.

Brooklyn and I sat in the back and danced. Like her cousin, Sammie, Brooklyn loves to dance.

At night, we lit some fireworks. Apparently, even something as simple as sparklers are illegal in southern California, so we bought a few for Brooklyn to try out.

However, it seemed to me like her dad and grandpa were the ones who really enjoyed them.

Here is a shot of my dad.

The device in his hand is primarily used to pick up dog waste. However, he discovered it was also the perfect way to handle used fireworks. Maybe this picture is only funny if you know my dad. Maybe it's really only funny to me.

Day 1: The Albuquerque Airport

2010-07-02T08:17:00.000-07:00

With my dissertation successfully defended, I will embark on a two-week tour of LDS Church history and U.S. History sites across the country, beginning on Monday.

Today, however, I am in Albuquerque, laid over on my way to Las Vegas to spend a couple of days with my family before the tour starts. As I did when I went to Japan, I will do my best to document this trip as it happens, so that those of you who follow this sort of thing can experience it as it happens.

So, right now, I am in the airport. And, thus far, here are the things I have noticed:

A man on the other side of the aisle from me reading Hold Me Tight, by Sue Johnson. Middle-aged, married. Some kind of businessman.
An older woman wearing a blue duster, giant rhinestone earrings, and a huge bun on the top of her head, who was on my flight from Lubbock. I don't believe in taking pictures of strangers for the purpose of mocking them, but I was tempted.
The Albuquerque airport itself provides many clues as to why Texans have a general disregard for the state of New Mexico. That's all I will say.
While, in general, I think we as a society have found all kinds of ways to distance ourselves from one another, occasionally, I still hear people who don't know one another talking on airplanes and in airports, and it gives me hope that we might make it as a society after all. As I type this on my laptop with my headphones shoved in my ears.

The Beginning of the End

2010-06-30T22:36:00.000-07:00

Today, I defended my dissertation. I am now officially Megan Oka, Ph.D.

Here is a small snippet of what my day was like:

One of my committee members, Dr. Alan Reifman, writes songs to help his students remember statistical concepts. When I had him as a professor, he began working on "Oka-Notion." Before my defense started this afternoon, he put this on the projector and we all sang along.

Every dissertation defense should start and end with karaoke and have cupcakes in between. Many more people would be getting Ph.D.s.

Almost done

2010-06-18T20:35:00.000-07:00

Today, I submitted my dissertation to my committee. If all goes according to plan, I will be a doctor a week from Wednesday.

P.S. Still baking cupcakes. I just haven't had time to blog about them.

So Weird...

2010-06-01T21:10:00.000-07:00

Last night, I pulled the BYU undergraduate class schedule up on the Internet. My name is listed as an instructor.

As a child, I never dreamed of going to BYU. When I did go to BYU, there would be times when I would find myself walking east across campus, toward Y Mountain and wonder to myself, "How did I get here?"

Last night, I found myself asking that question again.

Life is funny.

Hey There, Sports Fans

2010-05-23T22:42:00.000-07:00

Some of you may know that I enjoy being a sports fan. I mean, I enjoy sports, but I REALLY enjoy being a sports fan. It has caused me to wear things like this:

And to do things like this:

And this:

In my defense, they all seemed like reasonable things to do at the time.

It's only now that they seem as bizarre to me as they must have seemed to everyone else.

Also, I collect t-shirts from colleges in places where I visit, as well as NHL teams, and I like to believe that if I team whose shirt I happen to own does well (like, for example, the Chicago Blackhawks) I have something to do with that.

But I'm pretty sure that this one has to be my favorite sports fan moment of all time:

In case you are wondering, the guy in the blue is George. He just won his tennis match.

Not only did our shirts spell out his name, but they also had this on the back:

You may have noticed that the venues appear to be getting smaller and smaller.

I'm thinking of starting a pep squad for church basketball pickup games.

And, no, the irony that this happens to also be the first name of my one and only brother-in-law is not lost on me.

What's been going on with me

2010-05-18T15:11:00.000-07:00

So, here are the latest developments in my life:

I will be working at BYU next year as a visiting faculty member.

I am finishing up my dissertation and handing it into my committee in the next couple of weeks.

My mom and I are taking a church history tour at the beginning of July.

Melanee and I have decided to run the Top of Utah Marathon in September, which will be easier to do now that I will be living closer to her.

I only have 9 cupcake recipes left!

Wow, when I write it all down, it sounds like a lot of stuff. Also, it makes me feel better about being lazy about my blogging lately, and in the future.

Just a typical Monday night...

2010-04-13T15:12:00.001-07:00

At FHE the other night, Garrett came up to me and said, "I have some strawberries I need to get rid of, so I'm going to bake a chocolate cake." That is impeccable logic, and one of the reasons Garrett and I are friends. We had a brief conference over whose house to bake it. My apartment kitchen had still not recovered from the 4 batches of cupcakes I made the week before, but Garrett's house is the site of a nightly P90X workout.

For those of you following Challengers of the Unknown, you may be familiar with Charlie, or tonganterror, as he is known in the blogosphere. In addition to bearing a striking resemblance to the Rock, Charlie is in the midst of doing P90X with his buddy Rudy. Another interesting fact about Charlie is that he is Garrett's roommate, and the nightly P90X workout is his.

Imagine, if you will, the juxtaposition of hardcore yoga with cake baking. That was my Monday night.

I did not get any pictures of the yoga part, so you'll just have to trust me that it was going on. Charlie asked that his picture not be taken, and I respected his wishes, as he is in the process of "bringing it" and I did not want to be the reason it was not brought. Rudy, more of an exhibitionist, would have happily allowed me to take pictures, but I chose not to interfere with the integrity of the event.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, we were baking cake.

I brought aprons for everyone to wear. Here's Garrett tying his while he talks on the phone.

Here's a shot of the batter. Isn't it gorgeous?

This cake was odd in that it had a layer of frosting, and then another layer of ganache icing.

Here's a shot of the frosting. It was similar to the stuff inside Oreo cookies.

Here's Stacy cutting up strawberries.

And Stetson. He's an accountant. Tax day was three days later. In this picture, he is melting chocolate for the ganache. And, yes, he is also wearing one of my aprons.

While the cake was baking, we played Scum. Yoga was still going on. In fact, yoga finished at the same time we finally got to start eating the cake.

We were all sinking our forks into the decadence when Rudy and Charlie started "Ohm"-ing in unison. It's a pretty good thing I didn't snort chocolate cake.

Even good chocolate cake is bad when it comes out your nose.

A Quick Trip to Provo

2010-04-03T18:47:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I get lucky, and a trip that's meant to be about business ends up being more about pleasure, like Chicago or San Francisco.

Sometimes I try to organize pleasure around a business trip, and it implodes on me. That's what happened last weekend.

I was lucky enough last weekend to be interviewed for a visiting faculty position at BYU, the same BYU that I attended for six years. It was, to date, the scariest thing I have ever done-career-wise.

I arrived in Utah on Friday. My parents drove up from Las Vegas the night before, and I called my mom to find out what the temperature was like. She replied that it was a little chilly, but I could probably get away with a light jacket. Imagine my surprise when, as the plane touched down, it started to snow. Fortunately, the snow did not stick.

I'd had what I believed to be a cold a few weeks earlier, and felt like it was coming back the night before I left Lubbock. With the stress of preparing for a big job interview, I can't say that I slept all that well that week. However, it was decidedly worse on Sunday when I woke up unable to talk. I had made plans to hang out with Anne and Lisa that afternoon, and had to cancel them. I ended up skipping church and passing out on Melanee's couch.

The interview started at 7:30 on Monday morning. I have no pictures of this because I believe that trying to capture the experience with my camera would have undermined my credibility. The most stressful part of my day happened at 10:00, when I had to give my research presentation. Halfway through, I began coughing pretty hard, until one of the faculty members left the room and returned with a cough drop.

The interview finished up on Tuesday morning, and I had lunch with Melanee and the kids before heading to the airport.

I have lived in Lubbock long enough to learn a few things about flying there:

a) There are only four airlines that fly to Lubbock.

b) The best is Southwest. The worst is American.

BYU booked my flight on American Airlines. I didn't complain because I didn't have to pay. However, when my flight was scheduled to take off at 4:45 from Salt Lake to Dallas, and it ended up not leaving until 5:45, I remembered some other information about flying to Lubbock:

c) There aren't that many flights from Dallas to Lubbock in a day.

d) If you miss the last flight to Lubbock, you can get stuck in DFW overnight.

That's exactly what happened. My flight to Dallas arrived 20 minutes after my flight to Lubbock took off, and it was the last flight to Lubbock of the evening. Fortunately, American Airlines put me in a hotel room for free, and gave me meal vouchers. My flight left DFW the next morning at 7:30, and I arrived in Lubbock at 8:20. I went straight to a meeting with my advisor, wearing the clothes I'd had on the day before, having washed my face with hotel soap, and brushed my teeth with one of these fabulous disposable toothbrushes my mom gave me for Christmas called Wisps. I received many dental hygiene products this Christmas, which I think must mean something. I had to change clothing and fix my hair and makeup in my office in between meetings and class because I was supposed to see six clients that afternoon. It was 9:30 before I got home.

The next day, I went to urgent care, where they diagnosed me with strep throat.

And I'm pretty sure that, somewhere in the midst of all that coughing, I broke a rib.

I am never leaving my apartment again.

April Fools!

2010-04-01T22:25:00.000-07:00

I didn't make cupcakes for the meeting we had on April 1 because I wasn't feeling great (it turned out to be strep throat, and then, later, a possible rib fracture. Another story).

However, there is a cupcake place across the street from my apartment that I have been dying to try, and, as it happened, they had created some special cupcakes for April Fools' Day. So I bought a few to take to work.

Bagels with lox. I think the bagel was actually a donut. Reminds me of the episode of Seinfeld with the Peterman Reality Tour.

Spaghetti and meatballs. The noodles are buttercream; the meatball is a Ferrero-Rocher chocolate, and the sauce is strawberry jelly. The actual cake was red velvet.

Then, there were the mashed potatoes and gravy. The gravy was caramel, and the butter pat was a lemon Starburst.

This one was supposed to be popcorn. In retrospect, I should have gotten another spaghetti and meatball one. I didn't think this one was as impressive.

But they were all good ideas for next year.

My Kind of Town Chicago is

2010-03-21T17:59:00.000-07:00

I spent the good part of my spring break in Chicago. The official reason for this was an interview for a post-doctoral fellowship in medical family therapy. However, that was over on Monday, and I spent three extra days there seeing the city with Kit, who is about to graduate from Purdue Calumet and move from Chicago to Minnesota.

After my interview on Monday, I was too tired to do much else, so we had deep dish pizza at Lou Malnati's, and then went home to bed.

Tuesday started early with lunch at Cosi, and a trip to the Art Institute of Chicago. I think we spent no less than two hours in the impressionist wing alone.

A word about this picture: I love this picture. I remember learning about the impressionists in fourth grade when Judi Nielson would come into our elementary school class periodically and teach us about art, and I remember this painting in particular because of the enormity of the canvas and because Seurat painted it by individually painting tiny dots of color that the eye blends together when it is viewed. Sunday Afternoon on the Isle of La Grande Jatte is one of those paintings that is so famous that it has entered popular culture in a different way than most works of art. It is pictured in Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

It is the only painting I can think of about which there was a Broadway Musical written. And I think it was the musical that is the reason this picture has had an impact on my life. It's a Stephen Sondheim musical aptly titled Sunday in the Park with George. If you are interested, you can Netflix a performance on DVD starring Mandy Patinkin as Georges Seurat and Bernardette Peters as his mistress, Dot (ha ha). Seurat is portrayed as a workaholic who spends so much time on his painting that he neglects the people who are important to him. This point is illustrated in a song called "Finishing the Hat." The hat in question is the one on the woman in the foreground with the umbrella and the monkey on a string, who, in the play, represents Dot. One of my favorite lines goes:

“And when the woman that you wanted goes,

You can say to yourself, ‘Well, I give what I give.’

But the woman who won't wait for you knows

That, however you live,

There's a part of you always standing by,

Mapping out the sky,

Finishing a hat...

Starting on a hat..

Finishing a hat...

Look, I made a hat...

Where there never was a hat.”

I love this song because, often, in my life, this is what I do. I love this painting because I can appreciate the work that it takes to get something the way that you want it. And I love Chicago for bringing me this close to something I had only previously read about. It wouldn't happen in Lubbock.

I always think it's weird to take pictures of paintings, but this one made me laugh. It was painted by Pablo Picasso, and it is called Crazy Woman With Cats.

We stayed until the museum closed, and then we took a quick trip to Millennium Park. Everytime someone I know goes to Chicago, they post a picture like this:

It's officially called Cloud Gate, but everyone refers to it as "The Bean." I googled "The Bean" and this was the first thing that came up. After that, we headed down Michigan Avenue toward the John Hancock Tower. You may wonder why we selected the Hancock Tower instead of the Sears Tower, which is taller and, one could argue, much more famous. However, the Hancock Tower is in a location that makes it easy to see the rest of Chicago from its observation deck, and it has a tour that is narrated by this man:

This probably won't mean anything to anyone else, but when Kit and I were roommates, we watched many episodes of Friends on TV. Between the two of us, we own 14 seasons on DVD. So it seemed fitting that my Chicago experience should include David Schwimmer, who went to Northwestern and started the Looking Glass Theatre downtown. And when we got home that night, we watched an episode of Friends on DVD.

This is a shot of the city from the observation deck of the tower.

It just so happened that Wednesday was St. Patrick's Day. In Chicago, this is a big deal. The day before I arrived (Saturday) they dyed the river green. Of course, it wasn't still green on St. Patrick's day, but it was still a big deal. Also, most of the parades happened over the weekend, and, seeing as how neither Kit nor I are drinkers, we weren't really sure how to properly celebrate the occasion.

So we went to this place:

And ate this:

And this:

They had signs like these:

And these Port-a-potties:

We spent some time driving around. We saw the Baha'i Temple, which looked like this:

And we spent a little bit of time walking around the Northwestern and University of Chicago campuses.

And, of course, we made cupcakes.

Thursday, we headed to Wrigleyville, which is the area around Wrigley Field, where the Cubs play. After we walked around the outside of Wrigley Field, we decided to stop for lunch at this place:

That's right: we made it to a restaurant visited by Adam Richman on Man vs. Food. It was a very exciting moment. And to top it off, they were playing NCAA tournament games on six different TVs, so we got to see the end of the BYU game. I am ashamed to say that, in my March Madness bracket, I had BYU slated to lose that game, but I was still pretty happy to see the Cougs win a tourney game for a change.

On a completely unrelated note, we saw this on one of the houses in the neighborhood:

How did the Texas Longhorn get all the way up here?

We walked a little bit around the area while I searched for a Blackhawks' t-shirt. A few years ago, I started collecting college t-shirts from places where I'd been, so I picked one up at Northwestern. Then, a year or two later, I started to buy NHL shirts when I was in a city that had a team. The stores in Wrigleyville were selling Blackhawks' shirts, but I had my eye on a specific design:

You see, the Chi-rish, as they refer to themselves, have so much Irish pride that, sometimes, it spills out onto their favorite sports teams. We saw many Irish Cubs' and White Sox t-shirts', but only a few Blackhawks' ones, which is a travesty, particularly considering how many American hockey players of Irish descent there are.

We found this shirt in one of the shops next to Lucky's, but it was way too big. Consciously or not, we made it a quest to find this shirt in my size. We checked Wrigleyville, Navy Pier, and every t-shirt shop along Michigan Avenue along the way.

We finally found it in one of the shops along Michigan Avenue, but the store was about to close and the door was already locked. We stood outside looking sad until the proprietor felt bad and let us come inside to buy the shirt.

With that taken care of, we browsed through some of the nicer shops on Michigan Avenue, and I bought these:

They are supposedly replacing cupcakes as the "it" dessert.

Sadly, I put them in my suitcase, and by the time I got home the next day, they were pretty much dust.

However, considering that was the worst part of my Chicago visit, I couldn't complain too much. It was a great spring break!

27 recipes left!

2010-03-08T20:31:00.000-08:00

Just in case you were curious.

A Missionary Package

2010-03-06T18:27:00.000-08:00

I have emerged from several weeks of blogging inactivity to write, not about my job search or my dissertation, which I finally proposed yesterday, or my lack of a love life, but about a package I plan to send to my brother, Danny, in Alaska on Monday. Danny has been on his mission now for a little over a year, and he requested a package from all of his family members to celebrate. I thought back to the number of packages he sent me when I was on my mission (zero), and then remembered that a) he was 13 at the time, and b) he's a boy, and I tried to cut him some slack. He requested that no one send him any treats/candy, as he has already gained all the weight a stateside missionary ever needs to gain, and does not need to buy himself any more larger pants. So, after some consideration and a quick trip to the dollar store, this is what is going in the box:

a Texas Tech ski cap. I hope it fits. He has a big head.
a yo-yo (he used to be really good with a yo-yo)
a Goliath (from the Old Testament) figurine. I couldn't find David, sadly.
a lint brush (I would have loved something like that on my mission in New York. Everyone had a cat or a dog, and they were never outside animals).
Black dress socks with a subtle pattern. Nothing too crazy, just a little something for variety.
hand sanitizer spray in a container that looks like a pen. I figure he can even keep it in his shirt pocket if he wants.
Blistex, because you can never have too many tubes of lip balm that you can't keep track of. Plus, Danny always has notoriously chapped lips. I doubt the winters in Alaska have changed that fact.
One of those eggs that, when you submerge it, becomes a washcloth. For fun.
Mylanta for gas relief. It sounds like a gag gift, but it's not. I should throw in some breath mints, also. Wait, it looks like the Mylanta is mint-flavored, so it's like killing two birds with one stone, so to speak.
a magnet shaped like a TV with my picture in it. I don't know why I got such a kick out of this item. I can't think of any person I know who would be less excited by a framed picture of me.

As a missionary, I remember occasionally getting weird letters or cards from friends or family members and wondering if they had lost it while I was away. I think this may have that effect on my brother.

What to blog about now

2010-02-08T21:53:00.000-08:00

Now that I have switched all of my cupcake posts over to Challengers of the Unknown, I don't know what to do with this blog.

Let's recap the different things I have blogged about in the past (she says, as if she is speaking to an audience of thousands):

cupcakes
trips I have taken
making a movie
my love life

These days, my focuses are on getting a job and finishing my dissertation. Not exactly blog-worthy until I a) schedule my proposal meeting, which I am hoping to do next week, or b) get a job interview, which I am anticipating but haven't heard anything official about yet.

So, that's me.

Chocolate Salted-Caramel Mini Cupcakes

2010-01-31T21:00:00.000-08:00

This is the last cupcake post from the days prior to Challengers of the Unknown, which means I will have to go back to using this blog as a vehicle to talk about my love life.

These are really good. They were a recipe I was looking forward to making, and I was right to be excited about it. If you make these, you will want to make them as mini cupcakes. As a rule, I think mini cupcakes are kind of a pain, since they take a lot of work and you have to make three times as many as you would if you were making regular-sized ones. But this recipe is pretty rich, and it might be hard to eat a whole full-sized cupcake, particularly if you do not have a glass of milk, as the women in my Relief Society did not.

This recipe is slightly complicated. First, you bake the cupcakes. The recipe is not difficult, which is good.

Next, however, you have to hollow them all out. I used a 1/8 teaspoon like a mellon-baller to hollow out my cupcakes.

Then, you make salted caramel, which goes inside the little craters.

Unless you, like me, follow Martha Stewart's recipe exactly and still manage to end up with this:

Yeah, that was supposed to be caramel.

The worst part about it was that this happened right before I was supposed to go to church. I carefully weighed my options:

1. Ditch out on Sacrament Meeting, run to the store, come back and make new caramel.

2. Leave the cupcakes and go to church without them. Hang your head in shame, as the Relief Society sisters have come to expect the cupcakes. Hope your lesson makes up for the lack of treats. Make the caramel tomorrow and find ingenious ways to get rid of 58 tiny cupcakes.

3. Use what what I had on hand, which happened to be Smucker's Caramel Ice Cream Topping. I cannot remember ever buying it, so that was pretty fortuitous.

I picked option 3, but don't think that it was an easy decision. Smucker's Ice Cream Topping bears no resemblance to homemade caramel. However, no one seemed to notice. And if they did, no one mentioned it to me.

I'm a little disturbed that I actually considered option 1. It has me a little bit worried about how seriously I am taking this stupid cupcake thing. At the end of the day, whether or not I make salted-caramel chocolate cupcakes will not matter much, even if it means I won't have them to show off in Relief Society. Once in awhile, I need to regain a little perspective.

The next day, however, I made another batch of salted caramel for the few remaining cupcakes, which I took in to work. I felt they were well worth the extra effort.

But it doesn't end there. After you fill the cupcakes and sprinkle the filling with a little sea salt, you have to make chocolate ganache frosting.

This you pipe on top of the cupcakes before sprinkling them with a little more sea salt.

Aren't they gorgeous? They ended up being almost like tiny, cupcake-shaped chocolate truffles. And, as I pointed out in Relief Society, they are the ultimate chick food: sweet and salty and very rich. If only I could find a man like that.

Chocolate Salted-Caramel Mini Cupcakes (makes about 56 mini)

1 1/2 c. all-purpose flour

3/4 c. unsweetened Dutch-process cocoa powder

1 1/2 c. sugar

1 1/2 tsp. baking soda

3/4 tsp. baking powder

3/4 tsp. salt

2 large eggs

3/4 c. buttermilk

3 Tbsp. vegetable oil

1 tsp. pure vanilla extract

3/4 c. warm water

sea salt-I used the sea salt I bought at Trader Joe's.

Preheat oven to 350. Line mini muffin tins with paper liners. Whisk together flour, cocoa, sugar, baking soda, baking powder, and and salt. Add eggs, oil, buttermilk, vanilla, and water. Beat with an electric mixer on low speed until smooth and combined, scraping down sides of bowl as needed.

Divide batter evenly among lined cups. Bake for about 15 minutes. Let cool completely.

Use a knife or a spoon to remove a small amount of cake from the center of each cupcake. Discard pieces or wolf them down with a glass of milk. Spoon 1-2 teaspoons of warm filling into each hollowed out cupcake. Sprinkle a pinch of sea salt over filling.

Fit a pastry bag with a medium open-star tip (Wilton #18) with dark chocolate frosting. Pipe frosting onto each cupcake, swirling tip and releasing as you pull up to form a peak. Garnish each cupcake with another pinch of sea salt.

Salted caramel filling--I do not trust Martha's recipe, as I will still maintain it was the recipe that made the caramel turn out badly, not my human error. I used the caramel recipe in my Essential Mormon Cookbook.

Caramel Sauce

1 1/2 c. packed brown sugar

3/4 c. light corn syrup

2/3 c. heavy cream

3/4 c. butter

Mix all ingredients in a saucepan. Bring to a boil over medium heat. Boil 2 to 3 minutes, stirring constantly. Cool. Makes about 1 1/2 pints.

And here is a link to the frosting. It is extremely decadent.

Gingerbread Cupcakes

2010-01-26T21:50:00.000-08:00

I had a few recipes that intended to make over Christmas that I did not. This was one such recipe. Again, I don't really understand why Martha Stewart includes so many recipes that are somewhat similar, like the two pumpkin recipes, and two ginger recipes. But this was a good one. Simple, sweet.

Had I made them Martha's way, I would have topped them with gingerbread men and women. Seeing as how it is past Christmas, I elected not to do that.

Gingerbread Cupcakes

Makes 22

1 1/2 c. all-purpose flour

2 Tbsp. ground ginger

2 tsp. ground cinnamon

1/4 tsp. ground nutmeg

1/4 tsp. ground cloves

3 sticks unsalted butter, room temperature

1 1/2 c. sugar

3 Tbsp. unsulfured molasses

4 large eggs

1 tsp. pure vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 350. Line standard muffin tins with liners. Sift together flour and spices. With an electric mixer on medium-high speed, cream butter and sugar until pale and fluffy. Add molasses, and beat until combined. Add eggs, one at a time, beating until each is incorporated, scraping down sides of bowl as needed. Beat in vanilla. Reduce speed to low. Gradually add flour mixture, beating until just combined.

Divide batter evenly among lied cups. Bake about 25 minutes, or until a cake tester comes out clean. Frost with fluffy vanilla frosting. Or, if you prefer, top with sweetened whipped cream, instead.

Because there isn't a lot to say about this recipe, I thought I would showcase my aprons. As I mentioned before, I received three aprons for Christmas this year. Each one of them was unique and reflective of the person who gave it to me. I love all of them, and consider it a shame that when I bake, it's usually just me, so no one actually gets to see me in my cute aprons.

Stephanie gave me this one. If you can't tell, it is covered in very intricate embroidery, and, when I put it on, it looks like a cute halter dress.

Maria made me this one by hand. I am a huge fan of the pockets, and it matches the appliances in my kitchen.

Anne gave me this one. If I can find a skirt out of this fabric, I will be very excited.

I think these cupcakes have become a big part of my identity. Either that, or I am walking around with food stains on my clothes.

Peanut Butter Cupcakes & Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cupcakes

2010-01-20T09:21:00.000-08:00

Before starting the new blog, which I have been much more excited about in the last few days than my dissertation, I began several cupcake posts on this blog. I am not sure if I should post these old ones on my new blog, or just start with the cupcakes I've baked since starting the new blog, so as not to overwhelm the group site with cupcake recipes. I guess I'll just post my old recipes here and see how it all goes. Also, since I made these cupcakes the same day as the maple cupcakes, it only seems appropriate to at least post these on the same site.

Between the maple cupcakes and these, I decided to take an hour and clean my kitchen. For the first time in a long time, all of my dishes were clean, my counter was clean, my sink was clean, and my mixer was clean. I took pictures to document the occasion.

This was in preparation to make two more recipes, the first of which was peanut butter cupcakes.

I got invited to a cookie exchange with the women from work. I was faced with a dilemma: make a fabulous cookie recipe, like I was supposed to, or make more cupcakes and check another recipe off my list. As a compromise, I made two recipes that touted themselves as "cupcake cookies." These are recipes for cupcakes that are based on familiar cookie recipes, like peanut butter and oatmeal raisin.

Here's the link. And here's the other link. I am not a big raisin fan, so I substituted them for milk chocolate chips.

I have to say, these were not my favorite cupcakes I have ever made. I think I am sort of a purist. I like cookies to be cookies and cupcakes to be cupcakes, What was leftover from the cookie exchange went to Mix 'N Munch, and then into work three days before Christmas.

The nice thing about my job is that, if I leave something in the break room, someone will either eat it or throw it away for me. Sometimes people take bites out of things and put them back on plates, but nobody is perfect-particularly not psychiatrists.

The New Blog is Up!!!!

2010-01-17T19:59:00.000-08:00

I will create a link to it on my page, but, in the meantime, the url is ninjapowerteam.blogspot.com. It doesn't have anything to do with anything, but no one else was using that blog address, so I snatched it up. If you would still like to be involved in the new blog but haven't been invited yet, let me know, and I will add you. I'm kind of embarrassed to be as excited about this as I am.

Starting a group blog

2010-01-13T11:14:00.000-08:00

Can I just say how relieved I am that a) people actually got excited about joining a group blog and b) I am not the only person who ever thinks about which actress would portray me in a movie of my life (Keiko Agena).

So, the first step in starting this group blog will be to come up with a name for the blog. It turns out you can't even start a blog until you come up with a name for it. Any suggestions? I think it should be something punchy that reflects all of the different goals that people are trying to accomplish, whether they be baking or yoga or whatever. Leave your suggestions in the comments section. And if you, or someone you know would still like to join us, it's not too late!

An invitation to start a group baking blog

2010-01-05T14:32:00.000-08:00

This idea was actually spawned by my brother-in-law. For those of you who know George and are scratching your heads, hang onto your hats for this story:

Over Christmas, I bought my brother-in-law, George, a book called All Cakes Considered. It is a book written by Melissa Gray, who is a producer at NPR's show All Things Considered, hence the title of the book. She is known around her office as the cake lady because she bakes a cake once a week and brings it into the office to share with her coworkers. Her book is a series of her cake recipes (one for every week in the year) that get progressively more complicated as the book goes on. If you were a cake novice, by making each recipe in her book, you could become a cake expert by the time you finished. Sounds like a fun idea, huh?

George heard about the book on NPR and thought about getting a copy for his wife. They checked the book out of the public library to try the recipes out, first. Then, a really amazing thing happened: (amazing if you know George, whose cooking talents include--according to him and Melanee--scrambled eggs and grilled cheese sandwiches) George decided to bake a cake himself.

What was even more amazing was that he LIKED it. George is a very meticulous person, and he followed the instructions in the book exactly, and the cake turned out wonderful, so I'm told. So, he went on and made another cake, and it was great, too.

While I was visiting, George made a sweet-potato cake, which I was slightly skeptical about, given that I am not a sweet potato fan, but it was GREAT. It was incredibly moist, and it combined sweet potatoes with apples for a really great fall/winter flavor. It didn't even have frosting, and it was still a great cake.

After tasting his cake, I tried to convince George to start a baking blog with me, where we would both chronicle our respective baking projects. I also invited Melanee to come up with a baking project of her own and join our blog. She's thinking pie.

The more that I thought about it, though, the more I thought it might be fun to invite everyone who reads my blog, whether you are friends, family members, or slightly sheepish blogstalkers, to be involved in this hypothetical baking blog and chronicle your baking projects. Just consider the prospect for a minute: a blog where multiple contributors chronicle a baking/cooking goal, sharing experiences, pictures, recipes (if you feel so inclined. I don't want anyone to feel weird about copyright issues). I think it could blow Julie Powell and TastyKitchen out of the water (just kidding. I love Julie Powell and TastyKitchen). Pretty soon, we'll have a book deal. Maybe they'll even make a movie about it.

In all seriousness, though, this would be a great time to start a project like this, given that it is a new year and we are all striving to be better people and such, by working out more, finishing our unfinished projects, and baking high calorie desserts. It wouldn't even have to be baking, per se. If you want to spend your year cooking pork or making Jell-O salads, that is okay, too. In fact, if you have no culinary aspirations but want to participate by blogging about a goal you have set or a New Year's resolution you want to be accountable for, come join us.

In all reality, I don't know if this will work. This could be like inviting a bunch of people to a party and no one showing up. Of course, your best course of action if you are anticipating such a party is to make sure that a couple of cool people are going to be there, and that everyone else knows that. That said, Melanee and George have given me permission to say that they will participate in this blog. This means that a) if you decide to participate, you know you won't be the only one at the party with only the lame-o host b) you know that this party is going to be super-cool, because that is the only way to describe my sister and brother-in-law.

If you would like to be involved, please leave a comment and let me know. After a few days/weeks, we'll start the blog. In the meantime, if you are working on a project, make sure to take some pictures. Also, think about who's going to play you when this blog becomes a movie.

Allergen Free Chocolate Cupcakes

2009-12-30T21:58:00.002-08:00

In planning my visit to Utah, there was a crucial detail that I neglected to factor in:

It snows there.

Sometimes, it snows a lot.

I didn't experience blizzards or anything while I was there, but we did have a couple of days where we elected to stay home, rather than drive out in the snow.

So we had to come up with some things to do at home. Bear in mind that, if Kevin had his way, we would have just sat in the family room watching Cars in our pajamas for three days straight. But I came up with some other activities.

First, I had the kids model their Halloween costumes for me. That took up some time. As you

can see, Sammie took the dog thing very seriously and decided this was a good time to start drinking out of a bowl on the floor.

Then, Melanee suggested I take some time and bake cookies with her kids.

I suggested we do cupcakes, instead because I could cross another one off of my list.

Plus, it meant Sammie and I had an opportunity to dress up in our aprons. I was fortunate enough this Christmas to receive three aprons. Apparently, great minds think alike. And every one of them is super-cute. The one I am wearing in this picture was given to me by Shane and Maria, and Maria actually made it. It's hard to tell, but it is covered in cherries and, smart woman that she is, Maria made the part that goes around my neck adjustable, which is good, since that is the part of the apron that tends to be a bad fit on me. I am a big fan of Sammie's chef's hat, also.

If you're wondering, no one in the family is allergic to eggs or milk or nuts, which this cake is

free from. However, this is a great recipe to make with a young child for some key reasons:

It doesn't require any fancy ingredients.

It doesn't ask for any complicated procedures. In fact, we made these cupcakes in one bowl.

It doesn't call for any eggs. So, I guess it's also a good recipe to use if

you don't have any eggs in your house and you still want to make cupcakes.

This last part was particularly important because Sammie wanted to do EVERYTHING by herself, from adding ingredients to mixing batter to filling the tins. I can only imagine how it could have gone if eggs were involved. And she is a pretty hard person to say no to. At least, she is for me. And I feel, since I am not in charge of her discipline, and I want her to like me, that I shouldn't have to say no to her as often as her parents do. This attitude got me into a little bit of trouble with her mother, particularly because the batter is extremely thin, and it dripped all over the place when she tried to fill the liners. After we baked them, we discovered that some of the cupcakes had batter on the outside of the liners, which baked like normal and made for an interesting look.

But I thought they turned out pretty good, despite the fact that they contained no eggs or dairy. And, yes, I allowed Sammie to help me dust them with powdered sugar and cocoa, which is why they look like cocoa exploded on them. Here is the recipe. The link also adds a frosting recipe, but I thought they were fine without frosting.

After we finished the cupcakes, we decided to go outside and build a snowman. Sammie and I began the snowman together, while Melanee was inside dressing Kevin for the snow, and, apparently, fighting with him over this pair of oversized pink boots he did not want to wear, which is how he ended up wearing his tennis shoes, and why he did not stay outside for very long.

I decided initially that the snowman would be the same size as Sammie. However, by the time Melanee and Kevin came outside, the snowman was just barely at Sammie's knees, and my enthusiasm was already beginning to wane. Fortunately, Melanee decided that this snowman needed to look different from your average snowman whose body is big while his head is small. We went for the big head/small body approach, instead.

Not unlike this handsome gentleman on the right. He was slightly more thrilled to be outside than this picture would indicate, but his feet were probably freezing in their little canvas shoes, and he refused to put his thumbs in the thumb place, so he was without opposable thumbs for the moment. He kept trying to take his mittens off so that he could use his thumbs, but, of course, that made his hands cold. Then his nose started to run. Needless to say, he didn't last long.

After Melanee put Kevin down for a nap, we came back out to finish our snowman. For those of you who don't know my sister, she is something of a perfectionist. And it rears its ugly head at the oddest of times, like when it's approximately 20 degrees outside and we're trying to put a face on a snowman. We were very happy with the results, especially when we were back inside and our feet had the chance to thaw a little.

After some ethical debates, Melanee broke some branches off the tree behind her house for the snowman's arms. I would guess that the HOA would not be particularly pleased if they knew she'd done that. However, since George is on the HOA board, maybe they will cut her some slack.

It is hard to tell from this tiny picture, but the snowman's eyes are pistachio shells that we colored with a Sharpie. His nose is a baby carrot (at Sammie's insistence), and his teeth are dried black beans, which made us giggle as we thought about Mr. Heyman, the gym teacher on Seinfeld who had "little baked bean teeth."

Here's Sammie with our completed snowman. As you can probably tell, Kevin

donated his hat to the cause while he was blissfully sleeping in his warm bed, and the next day, Melanee bought him another one. We were extremely proud of our snowman in his scarf and prison snitch hat.

But we were extremely cold and tired, which is what led Sammie to flop down in the snow and make a snow angel. I think.

I have also included this picture of Brooklyn. She had already returned to California when the snow day took place, so I don't have any pictures of her playing in the snow. However, I love this picture of her for many reasons:

-She is so darn cute.

-When this picture was taken, she had just received a sweater dress from my parents--which she put on over the sweater she was already wearing--as well as a shopping cart, which she began to push. She is also wearing a hat which one of her Haynie aunts crocheted for her. Separately, each piece is fine. Altogether, though, it sort of makes her look like a tiny bag lady. And if you think I'm terrible for suggesting that, know that her parents said it first.

Also, they left the shopping cart at Melanee's house until they went home to California, but they came back the next day. It took Brooklyn a while to warm up to being at Melanee's house. I was trying to remind Brooklyn about the shopping cart by pushing it around for her. However, she took that to mean that I wanted the shopping cart for myself (because my nieces and nephew seem to think of me as part of their peer group), and she spent the next half hour looking at me suspiciously. When she finally started playing with the shopping cart, she'd race past me with it crying, "Nope! Nope!" It was about the cutest thing I have ever seen, except that she wouldn't let me come near her.

Fortunately, her dad let me bribe her with candy, and then we were friends again.

Orange Vanilla Bean Cupcakes

2009-12-30T21:58:00.001-08:00

These cupcakes are really good. If you are looking for something a little on the fancy side, make these. And, if you have a lovely assistant like this one, so much the better. He is holding a bottle of vanilla beans, which we found at the grocery store for something like $4 for a bottle of two. Believe it or not, that is an unbelievable deal on vanilla beans at the grocery store.

My plan over Christmas was to bake a lot of cupcake recipes for the various family parties and get-togethers we would be attending. However, I have learned this fundamental principle of holiday baking: there is always way more food than you will need at any holiday get-together, and you will end up taking a lot of it home. But, heaven forbid we show up with less food, and make it look to people like there isn't going to be enough to go around. This is why people gain weight over the holidays.

Nevertheless, I was not going to miss an opportunity to cook in Melanee's kitchen and use all of her utensils and appliances.

This is Mel's microplane zester. I want one really badly.

She has more counter space in this picture than I have in my entire kitchen.
I also covet her big jars of flour and sugar. And her flat-top stove. And her spice rack. And all of her bowls. She also has a Bosch, which I was too scared to use.

Here is a link to the recipe. You may not think the candied oranges would be worth the extra effort, but they absolutely were.

These orange cupcakes were taken to the family party on Christmas Eve with my dad's side of the family. It has gotten to the point where I only see my cousins on that side of the family about once a year, usually at this party. This party, like every family gathering, involves massive amounts of food. However, it is so much more than that. Traditionally, it has involved three things: a talent show, the playing of the pipe chimes, and a white elephant gift exchange. As I write this, I realize that there are probably lots of Mormon families who have family gatherings where things like this occur. So, really, you'd have to meet my family to understand why this gathering feels so bizarre. When I was little, my contribution to the talent show portion was to sing an extremely off-key rendition of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," while my cousin Trudi danced, my cousin Brittany played the violin, and my cousin Stephanie recited a poem. My parents still have this on videotape. Needless to say, the talent portion of the evening was dominated by my youngest cousins and the children of my older cousins, but it hasn't been that many years since I demonstrated the Tahitian dance I learned in the Polynesian dance class I took at BYU.

The pipe chimes are something that was actually started by my mom, although, for years, my Aunt Mary Ann has been the driving force behind this tradition. My maternal grandfather made the chimes by taking metal pipes and cutting them to various specified lengths. Each pipe has a different number, and sheet "music" is provided in the form of a giant posterboard with the numbers written on it so that, when the number on the board is pointed to, usually by my Uncle Roger, the person who is in possession of that chime hits it with the handle of a butter knife. If everyone is paying attention, the tune of a popular Christmas song eeks out slowly and arrhythmically. If everyone is not paying attention, someone usually starts yelling. This year, my dad and

some of my cousins mysteriously disappeared during this portion of the evening, leaving me, several small children, and my elderly grandmother as the lead musicians. Also, this year we tried to do a song that had chords, which meant TWO people had to be paying attention to hit their chimes simultaneously. Then, my cousin Erin's youngest daughter, Paige, came into the room with a dirty diaper, which her mother immediately apologized for, in the middle of the song, causing me to start giggling and miss a cue. And things went downhill from there.

This year also featured some other, nontraditional games. But the way we always finish the night is with the white elephant gift exchange. This is similar to the gift exchange that occurs in the Christmas episode of the Office where Michael goes overboard and buys Ryan an iPod, only to receive a homemade oven mitt from Phyllis. It's sort of like that. Only, with my family, everybody brings multiple presents. Tons of presents. They are all wrapped, and they are usually pretty crappy, so, in recent years, it has become more about what things you can get rid of than it has about what you might end up with. Everyone sits in a circle, and several pairs of dice start circulating. If you roll a 7 or an 11, you get to take a present. When all the presents are gone, a second round begins where, when you roll a 7 or an 11, you can steal a present from someone else in the circle. I think the best thing I came away with this year was a pocket electronic Battleship game, which I ended up playing the last time I was stuck waiting for my tire to get changed. But I was pretty proud of what I was able to give away.

Here's my cousin Erin holding a copy of the Lubbock 5th Branch Movie. In case you are wondering, I am still in possession of four copies myself.

A few days before I left for Christmas, I ended up going to an ugly sweater Christmas party. I won some game we were playing and ended up with a giant trophy. Rather than throw it away, I decided to pack it in my suitcase (no easy feat) and take it with me to Utah, to be wrapped up and entered in the white elephant gift exchange. Just thinking about it made me smile on my plane ride out there.

The trophy ended up with Zack. He is the oldest of my grandma's great-grandchildren, and the only person in the room who was old enough to know what it was and still young enough to think it was cool. Plus, his parents are both doctors and were working pretty hard not to end up with too much junk to take back home, so it was pretty funny, too.

Ginger-Spice Cupcakes

2009-12-30T21:55:00.000-08:00

Remember Geri Halliwell, Ginger Spice from Spice Girls? I googled her to see what she was up to these days. Apparently she has recently written a series of children's books.

It has been so long since I made these that I have forgotten a lot of what was going on at that time. I made these right before I left for Utah, with the idea that I would freeze them, pack them in my suitcase, and take them the to the family party the night that I arrived in Salt Lake.

There are two recipes for ginger cupcakes in this book. The other one is more like gingerbread. This one calls for fresh, grated gingerroot, which gives it quite a kick.

A tip for this recipe: I used my food processor to grate the gingerroot. It did not go as well as when I grated zucchini, but it was infinitely better than the time I grated all the carrots.

It also calls for molasses, which I hate the smell of by itself, but seems to do wonders in the recipes that call for it. For some reason, the jar specifies that this is blackstrap molasses. I don't know what that means, but I find it kind of scary.
While going through my photo files, I discovered I took no pictures of the cupcakes before I froze them. Also, I took no photos of the cupcakes when I pulled them out of my suitcase and they were smashed (my mom made fun of me because I put them in Ziploc Bags to transfer them cross-country. I didn't have enough room for anything with more structure than that, so I guess I should have seen it coming). Before the family party, we stopped at Grandma Oka's house, where I managed to salvage a few cupcakes that looked okay, and cover them with fresh whipped cream and a dusting of ground ginger.

So, here is a link to the recipe, as well as a picture, which, let's be really clear, looks nothing like what mine looked like, even at their best. But the truth is, I don't make them so that I can enjoy them. I usually do enjoy them, but I make them for other people. And, truth be told, the person I most want to please when I bake is my mother. She has very sensitive taste buds, and can taste stale food where most people can't. And she likes desserts. I have earmarked several recipes especially for her, and this was one of them. She loved it. We ended up with lots of leftovers after the party (it's one of those things where everyone brings way too much food and eats way too little, so I wasn't too offended).

I thought I would also include a picture of my second bridal bouquet. I don't love it, but I made it entirely out of inexpensive artificial flowers, which is a story for another time.

maple cupcakes

2009-12-18T23:26:00.000-08:00

This recipe calls for grade B maple syrup. My only other experience with grade B maple syrup was when my parents and I did a body cleanse, where you drink nothing but lemonade made from maple syrup, distilled water, and pure lemon juice for two days, and you drink Smooth Move (a laxative tea) to "cleanse" out your impurities. I apologize for you casual readers who may have just gotten more information about my family than you needed.

Just a warning: grade B maple syrup is not cheap. In fact, it may be the most expensive ingredient I have bought to date.

And Martha suggests you frost them with maple buttercream. I did not do that for two reasons:

1) I only bought enough maple syrup for the cupcakes.

2) After all the trouble mint buttercream caused me, I decided to ignore Martha and go with my gut, which said to make brown sugar cream cheese frosting instead because it was easier.

The recipe

Maple Cupcakes

2 3/4 c. all-purpose flour, sifted

1 Tbsp. baking powder

1 tsp. salt

1/2 c. unsalted butter, room temperature (This is actually really important in baking. It changes the consistency if the butter is too cold or melted).

2 c. pure maple syrup, preferably grade B

3 large eggs, room temperature

1 c. milk

1 tsp. vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 350. Line muffin tins with paper liners. Sift together dry ingredients. Cream butter until smooth. Add maple syrup, and beat until combined. Add eggs, one at a time, beating until each is incorporated. Add flour mixture, and beat well to combine. Beat in milk and vanilla until combined. Fill each cup 3/4 full. Bake about 20 minutes.

Brown-sugar Cream-Cheese Frosting (makes 2 1/2 cups)

1 stick unsalted butter, room temperature

8 oz cream cheese, room temperature

1 c. packed light brown sugar

With an electric mixer on medium-high speed, beat butter, cream cheese, and brown sugar until smooth. Use immediately, or refrigerate up to 3 days in an airtight container. Before using, bring to room temperature and beat on low speed until smooth.

After frosting my cupcakes, I added this small, completely unnecessary detail: marzipan maple leaves.

I used a cookie cutter to cut out maple leaf shapes.

And here was the end result:

I realize that these cupcakes look a little odd, like the maple leaves don't really go with the snowman cupcake papers. It reminds me that you can't always tell, just by looking at something, whether it's going to work or not. Life is full of surprises.

Mint Chocolate Cupcakes

2009-12-18T08:15:00.000-08:00

These sounded simple enough.

Life has been pretty busy this last couple of weeks with final projects, massive rewrites on my dissertation proposal, and holiday parties. I have learned one new thing about holiday parties this season:

When you are asked to make some kind of food to take, don't make very much. The more food there is, the more you will have to take home. I had planned to use the Christmas season to make lots of different cupcake recipes, with the idea that, by the time I had to start back into school, I would have knocked out a considerable amount of recipes, and be able to limit myself to one a week. Unfortunately, I've had some trouble getting rid of the last three batches of cupcakes I made, and I end up schlepping them from party to party.

As I write this, I have four different kinds of cupcakes in my tiny apartment. 83 total. I think I went overboard.

But this recipe takes the cake. So to speak. It starts out with a simple, one-bowl style chocolate cake base, to which you add peppermint extract. This was slightly complicated by the fact that I dropped an eggshell into the batter and had to use a colander to strain it out, which I did.

Then, it starts to get difficult. The frosting is a mint buttercream. It seems like I should have been able to add mint extract to a batch of Swiss Meringue buttercream. I'm sure there's a reason that Martha did not have me do that. It can't just be that Martha wants to make things extra difficult for people attempting this recipes. It can't. Because in order to make mint buttercream, I had to cook egg yolks and sugar with mint leaves and milk, and then whisk in egg whites cooked with more sugar.

Then, I added the butter and held my breath while my KitchenAid combined all the ingredients. At first, I wasn't sure that it would ever look like buttercream.

You'd think that I'd get over the fascination of watching my mixer churn out buttercream, but it gets me every time. But it doesn't end there.

For some reason, the only way Martha could think to finish off this recipe is to melt chocolate and brush it on the underside of a mint leave, chill it, and pull the leaf away. It was at this point that I started calling her by her new nickname "Stupid Martha." Clever, I know.

This process was complicated by the fact that I dropped my candy thermometer and broke it. This made melting and cooking things on the stovetop slightly more difficult.

After making this recipe, I have to say that, were I to make it again, I probably will skip the mint buttercream in favor of a mint cream-cheese frosting. It would definitely be easier, and I actually prefer the taste of mint cream-cheese frosting over buttercream anyway.

Here's a link to the recipe and the buttercream, which saves me typing it out and makes me feel less guilty about making so many of Martha's recipes available to the public.

As of Saturday night, these cupcakes have made an appearance at a work party, an ugly sweater party, and a baptism. If there are any left, I will be taking them to Mix and Munch tomorrow.

Hummingbird Cupcakes

2009-12-13T21:37:00.001-08:00

One of the first weeks after I moved to Lubbock two-and-a-half years ago, I was invited to dinner after church by Evonne. I was grateful that, after only being in Lubbock a short time to have people who were looking out for me. She has since become a good friend, and is one of the nicest, most thoughtful people I know.

Evonne just finished her master's degree, and will be leaving Lubbock as she begins looking for a job. We had a farewell party for her Saturday night, and the theme was Aloha, because Evonne was born in Hawaii.

These hummingbird cupcakes seemed perfect, since they had coconut and pineapple. In addition, Evonne spends her summers in southern Texas studying and tagging birds, so there was that connection, too.

There is much debate in the Martha Stewart book as to why they are called hummingbird cupcakes. It is a Southern recipe, and it is thought that it may be because they make you hum with delight. Or, possibly, it is because they are sweet like the sugared water used to attract hummingbirds. In either case, they are sweet and very dense.

Hummingbird Cupcakes (makes 40)

3 c. all-purpose flour

3/4 tsp. baking soda

1 tsp. salt

1 tsp. ground cinnamon

1 c. unsalted butter, melted and cooled

2 tsp. pure vanilla extract

2 c. sugar

3 large eggs

2 c. mashed ripe banana (about 3 large bananas)

2 cans (8 oz. each) crushed pineapple, drained

1 c. walnuts (about 3 oz.) toasted and coarsely chopped

1 c. unsweetened desiccated coconut, which looks like this, and differs from regular coconut because it is not sweet and completely dry.

cream cheese frosting

dried pineapple flowers

Preheat oven to 350. Line muffin tins with paper liners. Whisk together dry ingredients.

Beat butter, vanilla, and sugar until combined. Add eggs, one at a time, beating until each is incorporated, scraping down the sides of the bowl as needed. Continue beating until mixture is pale and fluffy.

In another bowl, stir together banana, pineapple, walnuts, and coconut. Add to egg mixture, beating until combined. Stir in flour mixture with a flexible spatula.

Fill each muffin cup three-quarters full. Bake 25 to 28 minutes. When cool, frost with cream cheese frosting, garnish with dried pineapple flowers.

As for the dried pineapple flowers, I am not sure if I made them poorly, or if they were just a colossally bad idea.

To make them start with a fresh pineapple, and cut the top and the skin off. Preheat the oven to 225 F. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper. I used wax paper, which may have been the problem to begin with. Use a small melon baller (I used a paring knife) to remove the "eyes." Using a sharp knife, slice pineapple crosswise into very thin slices. Place slices on baking sheets. Bake until tops look dried, about 30 minutes. Flip slices and bake until completely dried, about 25-30 minutes more, or longer, depending on their thickness. Pinch center of each pineapple slice to shape into a cone, let cool in a clean muffin tin to form flower.

Mine never got completely dry, and stuck to the wax paper. I tasted one, and it was like pineapple jerky.

One-bowl Chocolate Cupcakes

2009-12-10T20:36:00.001-08:00

Of all of the recipes I have made, this is one I envision using a lot after this experiment is over. It's very similar to a cake mix, in that you combine everything except for the eggs, oil, and water first. Like the name suggests, you make it all in one bowl. I even used my hand mixer for a change of pace.

I made these for an MFT program party. Sadly, there were about 10 desserts at this party, and, even though people said they liked my cupcakes, there were still a ton left. Fortunately, I taught Relief Society on Sunday, and managed to get rid of the rest of them.

Here is a link to the recipe, which is super easy. Make it, and you will be amazed at how easy homemade cupcakes can be.

This is a versatile recipe. To add a festive air, I took one of Martha's decorating suggestions, and piped little wreaths around each of them. Okay, I piped wreaths around 15 or so of them, and then my hand started to cramp, and I had to stop.

I used a Wilton cake tip #352 to pipe three rings of individual leaves around each cupcake. When I took them to work, my friend Amanda suggested I just use a large star tip (#23) to pipe a circle around the outside and dip it in green sugar crystals. That ended up being less pretty, but much easier.

Almost unanimously, the favorite part of these cupcakes was the frosting, which was Swiss Meringue Buttercream. It is extremely light and almost velvety, and it pipes very well. Also, it's pretty exciting to watch it go from clumps of butter and egg whites to frosting in my KitchenAid. It's my go-to recipe for decorating, which, after these wreaths, I have decided is highly overrated.

Snickerdoodle Cupcakes

2009-12-07T22:30:00.002-08:00

I don't have much to say about these cupcakes. I love the cookies, and these are reminiscent of the cookies, only they have the added benefit of Seven-Minute frosting. My ward puts on a Christmas program every year for the stake, which happened between our ward block and the First Presidency Christmas Devotional. I made these so the people in the choir would have something to eat in between, since there wasn't time between church and the program to go home and have dinner. Unbeknownst to me, they were serving refreshments after the program, and my cupcakes got mixed in with those. Oh, well.

Here's the link to the recipe, the photograph, and Seven Minute frosting.